Hi all!
I have been struggling, pretty much since I got pregnant truthfully, but more so recently with my role as a mom.
I never had a relationship with my biological mom. My parents were divorced when I was 2 due to my mother’s drug addiction. I was raised by a single father, then with a step-mother my whole life. She never played a big part in my life and my relationship with my step-mom was strained most of the time. Due to this, I think I just don’t understand the special bond of mother and child and having my own child made me afraid that I wouldn’t be a good mom, know how to bond properly, or create that really great relationship.
When he was a newborn, my role was so clear. Feed-comfort-clean-play. Now that he’s older and transitioning away from breastfeeding, it’s so hard to feel like I still play a special role in his life.
Anyone could change, comfort, clean, or play with him. Breastfeeding was the only thing that really set my relationship with him apart from others but now that’s going away, I feel a great insecurity in that I don’t have a “special” bond with him. Like, what’s the difference between me and my MIL, who spends lots of time with him? What makes me his “mom” more than anyone else, aside from birthing him?
I don’t know exactly what I need to hear, but maybe some moms have experienced something similar and can help me overcome this insecurity?
tia