My ex did me so dirty that It couldnt do anything with my thoughts except write a poem. so therapeutic, but I've never done this before and lowkey want to do more. Please give me heavy constructive criticism; I want to learn. took me like 9 straight hours, and I couldn't stop till it was done. a lot of the symbolism are things that meant smth in our rls. almost every line has a deep meaning for me, and I love this poem, but truthfully, I want the most constructive criticism for it. CONTEXT: Siren, because we met working at starbucks together, he a marine now. We just ended things but so unexpectedly, the day before we were js talking about waiting for each other and promising things, but he stood me up for a date the day before he deployed again, and hasnt texted me back but is posting on his story and stuff, i still dont know why, because it js happened a few days ago.

A Bitch Never Saw it Coming

Dear Soldier Boy, 

Your Aldrin cut

Sharp tongue rifled with charm

Shouldn’t work but does 

Chopped in theory

never in motion in my eyes

A siren

-

Palms pulled me under 

God forbid a girl giggles

Songs of distance 

This wave wouldn’t crash

This tide would wait 

Plans and promises

Not passing weather

As if it meant permanence

he would never 

-

Maybe that’s why I'm so mad

Not because I mourn the thought

But to sympathize with my hopes 

Raised so high by said Leatherneck

Knowing he’d make the fall worse 

That a boy who spoke so softly about pain 

Would never hand it out this carelessly 

Maybe shell-shock is to blame

How does that come so easy to someone?

-

I can’t say its your fault

Without intention I planted the thought 

“Id be Devestated”

Thought Soulja Boy was spitting facts 

But with intention, All talk

Never realized 

“I need you"

Could be so meaningless

-

Left face 

right face

two face

-

Nastiness of it all is id go back

Biology never prepared me for exothermic reactions

Forces repel, you’d think

Drowning the words before they surface

Silence is safer

Song of a siren not heard

Understood as goodbye

To the “man once of his words”, 

a bitch never saw it coming

-

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1smxsjj/forbidden_fruit/

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1tdbj6g/true_love_is_none_of_your_business/