The Unsent Letter
A knocking door game with friends. Door opened. A glance and a smile sticking out of the hotel door of junior fall trip — no makeup, no special purpose, just pure joy from the unhinged game. I stand there, no shoes, and fall in her — deeply and secretly. No one understands it, but a glance to her saves my day.
The smile that appears the moment my jokes drop. The talk about the future during robotics comp. The college talk — me stuck, her guide, no blame, pure suggestion. The fight between her and her friends. The way people only see her outside, not inside. The tension that grew. Me, cowardly, not taking a photo with her at prom when she looked the finest. The compliment I rehearsed the entire car ride. The thank you. The smirk.
Listening to "Hold Still" — but the fading chemistry that didn't hold still. The wait of replies while she's having fun. My inner fight to do the right thing or not. The crush that crash me. The expectation that hurt me. I wait like a satellite — hurting, waiting, but floating still for the moment she sees me.
The departure in three weeks. Maybe her replies drop to three words. But the feeling stays the same. Was it that simple to talk to her? I ain't the ten that try to chase. I'm the one that chooses to stay.
A random bar, ten years from now? I don't know. Hope we both change but don't change. The songs that play in my head. The girl that stays in my brain. The choices I didn't make — but the glance that always stays.
PS: If you read till here I think you're impressive, I wrote this tonight after talking with my friends about my recent experience with my crush and just wanna post it here to document my life. I will update if there's anything new that happen. Btw I am alright I just feels super artistic tonight lol.