Hi. My apologies that this is so long but i didn’t want to leave anything out, probably did.
My partner (25 F) and I (26 F) are in a bit of a dilemma. We would like to move back to my gfs childhood home to save money even though it is neglected and treated terribly by her older brother. No parents living there. Owned by her dad. Our lease is up in August. This is also the 2nd time we’ve tried to move back but couldn’t the first time due to it being in worse condition then.
My partner’s dad bought this house in 2001 for them to live in with their mom while he lived in a completely separate house (won’t get into those details just know this house was specifically meant for my partner and her two older brothers to live in, as well as into young adulthood - establish themselves, go to school, work on finances etc.) House is in her father’s name.
Fast forward mother and oldest brother haven’t lived there in over a decade however middle brother (28) has lived there alone for the past 7 years. In that time He has completely destroyed the house, from a mice infestation, to clutter & trash everywhere (no trash service) to overall neglecting the general and overall upkeep of this 1800 sq ft house. Also I should note, their father doesn’t typically mind paying for absolutely necessary repairs but never goes to the house. We also speculate brother may be behind on utilities.
My partner and I have been renting for the past two years but now think it would be smarter at this time to save more money (currently saving to buy our own house) and not put towards rent. Rents about $1800 but monthly bills at the house would be about $500 or so. Her dad is on board and would like us to move back to the house and utilize the opportunity to save however my partner and I have had too and will have to shell out more money in order for it to even be considered our level of habitable. The washer and dryer don’t work, needs a new fridge, all new baseboards (he tore them out), gutters are a mess, windows broken, also pretty sure he’s been peeing in the laundry room sink. We just had junk people come out and take $300 of stuff and still have to have them come back. Paid for Orkin to come out and address the mice issue - apparently they think there might be 100s but they want $5000 to seal the openings to the house which her dad and him do not want to pay. Just smelling the house and seeing all the droppings, I don’t doubt it for a second. Also the brother will still be living there while we’re trying to clean it up and while we’d be living there. He is a pain in the ass to get to do anything even though it’s his doing especially being that he is older than my partner. He doesn’t really wash his dishes, leaves his clothes all over the house despite his bedroom being on the 2nd floor, doesn’t get rid of trash, never cleans, smokes in the house, etc.
My partner has begged her dad to stop enabling him, do something etc. however he is 70 years old and is burnt out we think, won’t kick him out. She’s asked him to sell however both brothers don’t want to even though the oldest one (29) lives completely out of state with a wife and baby. So it’s 2 against one, Its likely that middle brother will live there forever even though they presume that the house may be left to all of them. Her older brother and father are essentially implying she should deal with it, clean up after him, suck it up etc. Leaves lights on, and all that I’ve said and more. We just spent all last weekend cleaning out the garage, garbage, etc and he leaves a pizza box out right where the mice have been mostly gathering. Then to add a cherry on top while my gf and I have been trying to bring the house back to life he mentions moving his gf in whom he could’ve had help him with any of this or moved her in all this time. But now suddenly that we’re cleaning it and making it nice she just gets to ride in and benefit. My gf is absolutely against the idea of her moving in and she is part of the problem. She also has a dog and us two cats.
Would you move back in to you childhood home with your brother to save money who is equally/ actively working against you? Maybe get something in writing to say if any of us don’t follow abcd, they need to get out? Or should we not even touch this situation? What happens when her dad dies and brother is running the house into the ground? Thanks for reading this far, any advice is appreciated!