I have been a sufferer of this horrific illness since December 2020. Before I had this horrific life, I would be sad and negative about the most minute things in my life... It seems like it's human nature to have things to be sad, mad and happy about.
But the side-effects from finasteride had completely obliterated me... coming from a person who never really had any REAL adversity in my life before this happened.
I started taking this drug because the love of my life cheated on me and left me... I thought it as the end of the world; how wrong I was and how I wish I could go back in time and tell myself everything would be okay.... because in the grand scheme of things the person you love cheating on you is nothing compared to the horror of what this drug can do to you.
I remember in December 2020 all of a sudden one day getting ringing in my ears... at the time I didn't see a huge issue with it as I read online that side effects could last 6 months after stopping, so I realized that the side-effects weren't worth it and decided to stop taking the drug and I'll be back to normal soon, right?
What I didn't realize was that be ringing in my ears was just the start of the horrible onslaught I was about to endure.
The next month was the most horrific thing I have ever experienced; I became completely impotent all of a sudden and had cold, numb genitals, along side of being completely in shock like my family had died, but there was no actual reason to feel this way. I had complete insomnia all of a sudden and it was horrible.
My body and mind was in complete disarray... I had never experienced something like this in my 27 years on this planet. I used to work with my father and have a core memory of telling him 'Something is fucking wrong with me.' while crying in my work van.
The next few months, my side-effects improved. My brain fog had improved, and I kinda felt like a human again on occasion.
But in the last couple years, nothing has seemed to change. I still have zero libido and my genitals are still numb, along with the horrible screeching in my ears.
I wish I didn't take being 'normal' for granted, and wish I didn't blame myself for taking this shit. I hate That I sometimes think about killing myself after my parents die so it doesn't hurt anyone too much... that really fucking sucks to think about.
But I've had a girlfriend that stayed beside me for over three years now despite all that is fucked with me, and I do enjoy days sometimes!
Just thought I should post this for the people who are at there worst. It does get better and there is still a reason to be alive, and I believe in every one of you.
Sorry for the rant, but it's something I have to get off my chest. I believe in every single sufferer of this and still believe life is worth living as it does get better, even if it doesn't go back to normal.