Should I move to a Different State with my Grandmother to Finish School and Get Away from my Parents?
hello to anyone who's reading this, I'm not really sure if this is the right Subreddit to post this in, but I feel really lost and I need some advice.
I’m in Year 11, and at the start of this year my family moved to a new city, about 1-2 hours away from my friends. since then, school has been really hard for me. my younger sister, my parents, and even my dog all seem to be loving it here, but I feel like I’m the only one who has been badly affected by the move.
I used to go to a smaller school with around over 480 students. the teachers weren’t that great at all, but there were a few really good ones, and most people were generally okay, it was easy making conversations and they can be really friendly. I as well found life-long friends there who genuinely felt like best friends for life, including people from my primary.
my new school has over 1,000 students, and I’m finding it really difficult to make proper friends. I do have people I can talk to in most of my classes, but it feels like I’m only ever going to be “the person they talk to in class” and nothing more. everyone already has their own best friends and friend groups, so it feels almost impossible to fit in.
I don’t want to sound like a scallywag, but I feel really out of place here. a lot of the people at this school seem very focused on things like drugs, drinking, parties, sex, cheating, spreading rumours, and all that kind of stuff. I know teenagers at my old school did some of that too, and generally most teens do, but it definitely wasn't their whole personality. at my new school, it feels like so many people are exactly the same.
same attitudes, same interests, same groups, same everything, even physical appearances.
It’s also a wealthier area, and sometimes people come across as really entitled, which makes it even harder for me to connect with them.
It's only Term 2, so I've only given it about 3.5 months here at this new place. so not really that long but it definitely feels long. my attendance has been absolutely horrible. I've been shamefully jigging school and getting to school around break time, and have just been absent every week. I know it's all my fault, I just can't dread having to go over there. this caused even more issues between my parents and I, which is obviously understandable.
but for context, they're not the kindest people. my father used to be a heavy alcoholic and my mother is basically a puppet on strings. my older siblings have lost contact with both parents. my siblings and I used to get neglected, emotionally and verbally abused every single day, and one used to be physically abused. they aren't that great of parents but they're not bad everyday, most days they can be really nice. It was usually always my father who was the absolute scallywag.
since moving here, a lot of it slowed down and stopped. but because I've been disappointing my parents, I get called mean names left and right by my father or basically telling me how I've ruined my life; all that kinds of stuff.
It sucks. I don't really consider myself having a good childhood either. most of my happy memories don't really include my parents which makes me sad from time to time. I know I need to be grateful that I'm living a life better than most people but I just feel angry all the time.
my Grandmother and older siblings never knew that things stayed the same after my brother moved out. my sister had been kicked out when she was young, and then a few years later my brother left too. before that, my sister would tell my Grandmother what was going on at home, but once they were both gone, no one really knew what was happening almost every night for several years. my mother lied a lot on the phone, so everything stayed hidden until 2024, when my younger sister and I went on holiday to visit my Grandmother.
So since then, my Grandmother has offered for my sister and I to transfer schools and come stay with her for a bit or for as long as we need. she works at the school's Tuck Shop and my Auntie is a Deputy Principal so they've both reassured that it won't be a difficult process.
I'm just scared, I'm really scared. If my sister, myself and our dog do this then we're going to be 12 hours away from my friends and family and I don't want to go through going to a new school again which is inevitable if we do move. there will be nowhere I can wag school if I start to get bullied, so I'll have to face the consequences of moving.
I'm mostly scared that the school experience will be the exact same as my new one but apart of me says that the kids won't be as dramatic and entitled. The school is in the country so it's not that rich and from the stories that I've been told from my Grandmother and Auntie; it sounds very similar to my original school --- where I've met amazing people. but most of me is saying that it's going to be the exact same experience.
My Year 11 exams are next term (Term 3) and then I start Year 12 in the term after (Term 4). I feel like I'm going to mess up my entire life but school is honestly not my priority right now even though it should be. I won't have any friends where my parents live and I won't have any friends where my Grandmother lives, my education will be done for too, I'm already so behind.
I know from a reader’s perspective this whole situation sounds dramatic, but I’ve never felt this angry, scared or overwhelmed before. I’ve been getting more physical when I’m upset, and I’m scared I might hurt someone.
I know TAFE could be an option, but I don’t really know what I want to do. I honestly just really need a break from my parents. I barely get to see my Grandmother, so this could be a good chance to spend time with her while she’s still here, it would also give my sweet dog a better life while she's still here too! she won't be lonely when we're out of the house for a while, she'll have company from my Grandmother's dog and other animals.
I’ve tried talking to my younger sister about it, but she’s just a miststück lol and really difficult to talk to most of the time (she says she doesn't care what we do). there’s also no point talking to my parents properly, because last year I already told them that my sister and I didn’t want to live with them, and they just got angry and acted like “whatever.”, and I don't want them to stop us from this opportunity.
I am sosososo sorry for the rant, I know most of that stuff wasn't relevant but I guess I just really needed to vent. what would you do if you were us? would moving be a terrible idea this close to Year 12, or is it worth it staying here instead?