I still love him, but I broke up anyway, did I do the right thing?
I don’t know if he’ll ever see this, but…
Did I make the right decision breaking up with my avoidant ex even though I still love him?
My ex (25M) and I (26F) broke up in April, but I still can’t move on. I ended the relationship because whenever I opened up about my feelings or problems, he would either ignore my messages or change the topic completely. When I brought it up, he’d only say “sorry,” and it never felt sincere.
He was sweet in other ways—he remembered special occasions, gave me flowers, treated me well, and included my family. But emotionally, I always felt alone.
Another thing that bothered me was how guarded he was. He would hide his PIN from me, get nervous when I was near him at ATMs, and even refused to add my biometrics to his phone because he was scared I’d “steal” his information. We never had trust issues or any history of stealing from each other, so it made me uncomfortable.
I also realized he never talked about a future with me whenever we discussed life plans.
I was scared of ending up in an unhappy marriage like my mom, who stayed in unhealthy relationships just because she didn’t want a broken family. I didn’t want to ignore the red flags and regret it later when things became more complicated.
So I chose to leave, even though I still love him.
Now he seems completely okay while I’m still struggling and crying over the breakup. Sometimes I wonder if my reasons were too shallow.
Did I do the right thing?