I know i will delete this later
Ok so here i am going to share my 2 year journey , as a person who never thought to get into this Field of med as i thought it of not a great scope but when i got into first year i had not particular goal and just tried to do my task i studied bcz of my social anxiety so that i may perform only good enough that the teachers don't ask me that why i did bad on my test so i used to study to that extent and BTW, when i got into clg( i skipped summer camps) theyy literally covered like 4 to 5 chps of phy, chemistry, and did 7 chps for bio( fsc ptb) and almost half other subjects they never ever bothered to explain those chps revise them and stuff.. and for some reason they started the test series from the last chpssss (like tf i didn't do the first chps and then didn't even got to prepare the for their test with that energy yk ) or jab un chps k test ki bari ayi to kuchh to inhone liye hee nahin or kuchh inhone 2 3 akthe liye unlike the last chps jo 1 1 or half liye as i am a person jo sirf test or paper mn hee prhte hein i still did hardwork for their prep and i was able to cover the 1st chps in full book and grasped them completely with 1 time prep! And gave my paper with that kind of prep i was expecting around 480 marks but got 510 and i as well as my classmates didn't expect that bcz there were some girls eho used to study all day nd night but still didn't get as much marks they were like below 500 or smth( btw i want to clarify that k asa nahin he k mn itne kam expect iss liye krahi thi k mere papers mn msla tha i was thinking only that k baki girls ne summer camps mn itna sab kuchh cover kia he lekin mne nahin so they might get more and the only mistakes i made were from those first chps).. Or 2nd yr mn mene socha k ab marks agya hein to mehnat krke improve krun i kept my hardwork routine used to study everyday, beech mn aik point pr chor b dia but covered most of it , and paper b asan aye the diye b ache , was expecting 1115 ( bte let me tell you mein apna estimate iss tarah se nikalti hun apni galtiyo k marks or phir usme se 2 3 marks or cut krke and sort of least estimate) but guess what i got 1103 marks! Its not a big figure lekin 470 or 1115 dono estimate bilkul aik tarike se nikale the to asa kese hua? And yk what is the worst part everyone around me gott their marks bhar bhar k and me i feel like i got checked from the strictest checker in every subject unlike otherssss jahan pichli baar strict checking thi sbki unko urdu mn 95, 95 marks milein hein or mujhe urdu mn utne marks mile jitne literally unke sath bethe supply walon ko mile like tff( btw i checked my classmates roll no she got 95 mashallah happy for her but , uske sath bethe logo k marks b itne ziada , or mere sath bethe 1060 mark or smth above 1000 ko urdu k marks 70 ki line mn i can clearly see diff checkers setting diff standards without any criteria mera paper itna achha tha i never expected thatt) USKE ILWA I GOT 75 IN CHE FOR ABSOLUTELY NO REASON I GOT MY 10 MARJS DEDUCTED, bila waja pak.s mn 5 katdiye , tarjme mn 3, and agar itni hee strict marking horae thi to ye sirf meri hee kyun hui
and then i worked for mdcat or IT MADE ME QUESTION MY WORTH WITH 150 MARKS! I WILL NOT SAY MORE but i messed 10 to 15 percent of the paper just bcz of my anxiety bcz apparently i was filling marking bubbles in the last 40 min and apparently bcz i thought i had very less time i marked like 7 to 8 bubbles double yup yup! Ik it hurtss lekin mujhe phir b laga mn paper acha deskti thi i had got good concepts and all and if only i managed my anxiety which apparently also was messing with my memory bcz i got the most obv mcqs wrong rather than the harder ones like 😭 that adiabatic wale do sara concept ata hha bss aik baar yaad krna tha 2 sec lagne the concept recall krne mn lekin apni sasti memory ka use krte hue isothermal laga diye or the b 2 mcqs aik jese 😭😭😭meri anxiety ne sara kaam kharab krdia but still I AM QUESTIONING MY WORTH! K MERE MDCAT B OR 2ND YR MN ITNI MEHNAT K BAAD B MARKS NAHIN AYE
But even after all that i am thankful to ALLAH he will do better for me! I trust him completely!
Now i am completely clueless btw should i improve my fsc and prepare for mdcat gap year to mn lerahi hun but exhausted huubut i am gonna do istakhara and find out what is good for me!! INSHALLAH may you all never face your hardwork being wasted it hurts it hurts alot( and i am never ungrateful of Allah ik in the fisrt yr jahan mne itni mehnat nahin ki thi he gave me lekin doing hardwork and not getting the results is diff kijd of pain agar mujhe uss wakt ktne na milte to shayad mn itni takleef mn na hoti but ik he lovess me that's why he testtt me , i may fail mdcat, but INSHALLAH not this test)
And btw jisne meri itni post prhli omg i luvv you 🩷🥹( only if your a GIRL)