Please I need help.. does anything can get better?
(some of my words might be to confusing I'm writing all of this from the heart I don't care about structures anymore)
Guys I genuinely need help, I don't know where else to vent about this but here I hope it's a right place to tell anyone about something personal.. Or if anyone have a solutions, anything I just geniuenly need help (I'm sorry if English bad it's not my first language)
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For so long I've been dealing with social anxiety... From elementary i was bullied for 4 years straight.. I genuinely have no one at all at school, and live in complete isolation from everyone... And the moment I finally adapt I have to already fo to middle school which the same thing happen again same for highschool.. for months no one wants to sit with me cause I'm to socially awkward... And those ruins everything.. I keep trying ,y best to do kindness still I do indeed got some friends but damn it.. I feel like there's always something missing and I keep getting hurt time and time again..
For years I've failed to study well and get that confidence and know myself well... Now after finishing hifhschool I got rejected through college while lot of my classmates already got in my dream college., some that I help but I myself doesn't get in it..
I know maybe it perhaps I'm not trying enough but still....
I'm genuinely scared of the future, of facing things inc life... I couldn't make myself useful anywhere.. and I'm struggling so much with something as simple as socializing..
And everything else in the real world and reality and everything surrounding me..
I don't know what to do.. what do I do? Can someone help?
I don't want to listen to myself that I should just end it all cause I keep failing In life.. but at the same time why is it so hard for life to get better