u/Good-Egg-1177

My ex-fiance broke up with me this week. I just beat stage 3C colorectal cancer which left me with a permanent colostomy bag. Ever since I got it my ex has avoided touching me, we were together 5 and half years and he just disintegrated the last 6 months. He’s grown so angry, and said I was too selfish and withdrawn, and sad during my year of treatment. We had just moved to our dream mountain home and were beginning to plan the rest of our lives together. The psychological pain and emotional distress are immense. I have to start over and I’m in such deep grief from these traumatic experiences heaped on top of each other.

What does it even look like to date with an ostomy?

He said he was tired, and couldn’t do it anymore. And that I had been too selfish and sad and withdrawn during treatment. He came to me with all his pain and grief while I was recovering from my surgery that would lead to remission this past spring. And when he did, I struggled to hold his pain and mine. For two months we had cyclical talks that would become fights. I kept apologizing that he felt so badly while I was going through all of this. I kept trying to provide context for why I was sad, and had no energy. He wrote me a 5 and half page letter blaming me for things that he hadn’t told me bothered him for years. I tried to address those things, and every time I did he just got more angry. This went on for 6 weeks. I had asked him if we could explore couples counseling months ago, we had our first session 2 days ago, and he broke up with me this evening. Saying it took me too long to address his needs. I don’t recognize him, I feel so sick. Our future is just gone. I am so angry, devastated, and heartbroken.