u/Good_Calligrapher232

I've known my best friend (F18) for about 10 years. We got really close during the last two years, though she started calling me her best friend around 10th grade.

The thing is, back then in class she would constantly prioritize her male best friend over me. Maybe I'm being petty bringing that up now, but it always bothered me and I never really said anything.

In 11th and 12th, we both joined the same dummy school, so we gradually lost contact with most of our friends. The only person she stayed in regular contact with was me. We started talking a lot more, calling each other often, and at this point I'm pretty much the only friend she talks to consistently.

A week ago, we planned a meetup with three friends from 10th grade. None of them had really spoken to her in the last two years, while I'd stayed in occasional contact with them.

We all got on a group call, had fun, and decided to meet this weekend.

Then, completely unexpectedly, some relatives came to visit me. The day before the meetup, I called my best friend and told her I couldn't make it. She got annoyed and started saying things like, "You always do this." I apologized and explained that I couldn't really do anything about it.

At one point I said, "It's not like I'm asking you guys to postpone it. You should still go."

She laughed and replied, "Yeah, of course we're not postponing."

That stung a little, but I brushed it off because realistically I don't expect people to cancel plans just because I can't come.

The next day I told the others. Surprisingly, the three friends I barely talk to anymore immediately started suggesting that we postpone it so I could come too. One said, "Should we just do it another day?" and the other two agreed.

My best friend was the first one to respond:

"Nah, it's fine. Let's just do it today."

Keep in mind, this wasn't some once-in-a-lifetime event. It was just a casual meetup after 12th grade. Nobody had anything urgent going on. We could have easily done it next week.

After that message, I jokingly sent a sad-face sticker. She replied:

"Don't pretend like you're a victim, bitch."

I'm pretty sure she meant it as a joke, but honestly, what? Why was she acting like I cancelled on purpose when I had a genuine reason?

Again, I wasn't expecting everyone to cancel for me. But when everyone else was open to postponing, I thought my best friend would at least support the idea so I could come too.

This isn't the first time either.

A few months ago there was a movie she really wanted to watch. She asked if I could go on a Wednesday, but I had classes. I suggested going the following weekend instead.

Her reason for refusing?

"I can't wait that long to watch it."

Then she just went with someone else.

Meanwhile, there have been multiple times when I've changed or cancelled plans because of her schedule.

I honestly can't think of a single time she's done the same for me.

There was another occasion where she went out with friends and I couldn't make it, but back then we weren't as close, so it didn't really bother me.

Now there's another situation.

This weekend there's a huge 10th-grade reunion at a club. She got added to the group and asked if I wanted to come.

I said no because:

I'm not really into clubs.

I don't like dancing.

Most of the people going aren't people I was close to anyway.

She begged me a little, saying things like, "Who am I supposed to talk to then?"

But after I explained my reasons, she basically just went, "Oh, okay."

And now she's going anyway.

Which is completely fine. She likes dancing, and I know she's not the type to skip something she wants to do just because I won't be there.

But that's what confuses me.

If my presence doesn't actually matter that much, why does she get angry when I can't come to things? Why does she make it sound like it's such a big deal, only to immediately continue with the plan anyway?

For some reason, the meetup situation really hurt my feelings.

Maybe I'm being dramatic. Maybe it's unreasonable to expect someone to postpone plans because of me.

But I think what bothered me wasn't that they went without me.

It's that strangers and old friends seemed more willing to accommodate me than my own best friend.

​

​

Am i being childish n dramatic. I am a lil bit of a emotional lady yes.