Why does he keep on asking me out and then friend-zones me ?
I (23F) have a work friend (20M) who recently asked me out on a date . I’ve never been in a relationship or have been on a date before so Im very new to learning what is to be expected but I feel that what I’ve experienced may not be the standard?
My friend and I met 4 months ago working working with each-other, and the atmosphere is so stressful that I never had a chance to consider having a crush on him or even getting to know him better (although I did know that we had the same music and movie tastes).He's a nerdy guy who’s literally the sweetest, always looking out for others.
After work one day, my work friend asks me out on a date with flowers. I find this adorable and say yes but to be clear, he never calls it a “date”. He says “would you want to grab dinner sometime but I pay for it“.
We end up going on this unnamed date and spend a whole 8 hours together. It was lovely! but i couldn’t help but notice a sense of “friendliness” clouding over this day. He paid for dinner but stayed very far away from me the whole time, as in, always two feet apart. I can tell there are moments where he wants to touch my shoulder but recoils.
he also seems very nervous. He talks a lot in the work place but one on one tends to just go silent leaving me to always think about ways to fill the air.
He ended up asking me out on another date but called it “hanging out“. I asked his friends about what he called it to them and apparently this whole time he’s called it a “date” to them
We’ve now been on 4 dates and nothing at all has changed. We ended up finding out a lot more about each other, text more often, and had a few nice conversations but there’s still a lot of awkward silence on his part. He still stays very far away from me at all times and even speaks in a way that “friend-zones“ us.
For example, after the last date i tried to ask how he feels about going on these dates he said “ dude I have a great time hanging out with you! I look forward to these days ! I feel great and I’d like to do it more often! “ but imagine it in the tone of a good friend saying this with no romantic undertones at all.
he‘s also not one for compliments. like has never once given me anything beyond a “good job”. Which is nothing I need, but I feel that the lack of makes his “friend-zone” tones more friend-zoney.
to contradict that though, he will watch movies and listen to music i recommend at the drop of a hat. He also plans these “dates” with a lot of care and pays for everything.
His friends tell me that he really likes me but his conversation style, body language, and lack of talking about “dating” or the potential of it says otherwise.
is he nervous about making me uncomfortable?