The mental health swings are wrecking me
I just need to get this one off my chest to a group that probably at least knows where I’m coming from!!
I started treatment in January (methimazole 20mg 1x daily) and I felt so, SO good once I started to move from hyper- to hypo-. The anxiety was almost completely gone, I was less irritable, I could sleep, I was able to go to the gym and actually see progress in how much I was lifting and distances done (on treadmill/elliptical/cycle), I could walk up the stairs without being out of breath, my resting heart rate would go below 100 bpm (then 90, then 80, all the way to below 60!), my brain fog was gone, and I felt like I was making incredible progress on tasks at work. I genuinely told people that it felt like I was manic because of just how happy and relaxed and positive I felt after the first few weeks of treatment.
But then I swung into hypo- territory (~27 ulu/mL) and man did the depression hit me HARD. I struggle to get out of bed in the morning, it’s hard to feel excited for doing anything, to have energy to perform basic tasks, and the brain fog is back and strong as ever. My doctor pulled back my dose to 10 mg and it looked like my levels were dropping back towards normal range (was at ~7 ulu/mL). Just did more blood work and I’m back up again to ~11 ulu/mL and just want so badly to be back in the good range (doctor dropped my dose again so hopefully this will be soon).
I just feel like it’s hard to put into words how draining it is to go from one extreme to the other and all the impacts on your mental health. It’s not really discussed how quickly the symptoms set in during this trial and error period of getting medication dosage correct. I have previously been diagnosed with depression and anxiety, so I’m very in tune with what it feels like in my body and mind, and how to cope with them, but it just sucks being stuck with these mental health impacts during the interim. I’m looking forward to getting my dosage correct and wouldn’t change anything about having been diagnosed/getting help.