An Update.
For context: Around a month ago I (21M) made a post about how to go about my break with my partner (24F) and what steps to “get her back”.
Since then I learned a lot from the post in the comments and in my life and the goal originally has changed into something new. I’ve directed this pain towards myself and my goals and since then my life has been a lot better. I got my car fixed, my money is good, debt getting knocked off, starting working out, reconnecting with old hobbies, my classes are set for the semesters ahead, and mainly myself where I process things differently. More importantly not letting insecurities shallow me alive and cause me to react without regulation and spiraling. I realized that I really lost myself in the relationship where I was so absorbed into whatever my partner was doing and in turn made me react without any regulation. This has been a hard month for me with my family and external issues and feels like everything around me is falling apart but I was very composed and level headed compared to before that’s when I realized, I started changing for myself to be a better man.
My partner reached out to me a week ago asking to talk on may 15th (tomorrow) and talked for a bit. it was nice and warm. She told me she wants to reconnect and work things out. She told me she was still fighting for this and remaining loyal even during this time. She was going on a trip to visit family and I wanted her to have a fun time so I decided to maintain the no contact for her and myself and she agreed. I broke it again after she came back and since then we have been talking here and there. It’s been nice and can definitely tell there’s change already but I won’t know until tomorrow. I just know that no matter what happens I can be fine afterwards. We both hope to making it work this time, the correct way.
I’m writing this for anyone out there kind of going through something like this. Of course every situation is different granted I believe you can’t come back from cheating but, I would say you can really see a person through their actions in this time apart. The only people who really know your relationship is yourself and your partner. If you believe in love then you fight for that. You will do the work, better yourself, do shadow work, therapy, improve your health, do the hard things in your life and how you present yourself. You will thank yourself in the future for the work you put in now. If there’s ever a moment where y’all would reconnect you would be in a much better place mentally, spiritually, and physically. You might change or feel the same idk but you will be different. There would be change. It matters now and whatever is meant to be in your life will stay. Because I’m a fool, a fool in love. I don’t care about the what ifs or the imaginary scenarios. I’m staying in the present not the past. If you believe in love and have that special connection with someone. don’t give up hope.