Can somebody help me with my relationship and my ex?
Hello! I'll introduce myself as Clare Sperks but take a note it's not my real name, I'm a female and I live in Europe, anyways.
12 of August 2026 I met this guy in roblox VrHands 3.1v ( I think ) and then 9 days later we actually started dating, keep in mind I'm not gonna tell anybody who I truly am because of privacy reasons and I don't wanna be caught in anything.
Few months in he started acting weird and he started having an huge ego, so to say that we started having arguments, not normal, stupid ones, happened because I have bpd and that I'm super sensitive, I never told him I had bpd because I felt like it was too late by how mean and rude he has been, the arguments got so bad that I had a streak of 50 days straight of crying ( not necessarily crying 50 days straight, but each day I cried because of him and his ego, and how rude he was )
He didn't give me a break to just not cry for a day and I got really upset, I tried defending myself in those arguments, and NO I wasn't e dating, I actually knew him really well by then ( so to say online dating / long term by then ) and outside of our arguments he was really sweet and caring, a tall 6 ft guy with brown hair and brown eyes, his family knew about me and half of my family knew about him too, He was one of those cute funny guys that I was really attracted to and definitely knew he was out of my league.
He has been in my discord servers and met other fans I had. ( I'm a tiktok content creator with 2k followers, but barely anybody engages with my videos but it's wtv. )
We always slept called and etc, but really those two last months so the 5th and 6 month of knowing him went downhill, because we broke up multiple times, i blocked him a lot of times while crying and going depressed, doing sh.. And other stuff, almost una***ing myself because how difficult it got on me, he begged me to stay alive and I did, I guess I still can be a person who really needs people to beg them to stay alive or people out of their league for them to stay, I'm not a pick me I swear so please don't attack me, know I have bpd and I don't have any medical treatment for it because my mother thinks it's stupid to get therapy, not to mention I always let others talk themselves out to me irl and online, I always listened to them, helped, talked about my situations, not too deep for me to start venting too but basically just relating to them honestly.
It went too out of subject. Anyways.
Four days after our 6 month anniversary I met somebody, and oh damn I fell so deeply in love with that guy so stupidly, the craziest part? I found out that cheating on him would help me out a lot because I was struggling to get out of that relationship that I don't have to be in that stupid relationship anymore, that I don't have to cry all night long, even when my were friends are over and I had to cry in silence while others were distracted. So I cheated and I confronted him 2 weeks later telling him I fell in love with another guy that I felt bad but I had to tell him, and he was obviously disappointed, but still somehow couldn't recover from me for a while ( e.g stalking me, following my socials, being in my discord servers, trying to somehow get in contact again, liking some of my stories etc ) But I had enough of him and got rid of him everywhere, then moved on and now I'm dating the best guy I ever have met in my life, he's sweet and he refuses to have arguments, even if things get hard between us, we find a way to fix it, we find out new things together, and now it's a positive life.. Right?
Well.. I still am not that recovered from the breakup and I unblocked him sometimes and asked how he was doing, he was glad that I am checking up on him so am I each time, even if I ended up getting rid of him just in case again.
Today i dmed him, i told him how I have thought of my and his memories a lot, basically everything and venting myself out a little, a hour or less went by and he texted me, he knew all about the new guy I've been dating ( also I started dating the other guy few days after meeting him, not immediately when I met him )
He started getting honest.. Maybe too honest.. ( my ex )
( the photo )
And now I'm stuck.. I don't know how I might be moving on, I know my ex for almost a year soon, and I know my boyfriend for 6 months, do I confront my boyfriend that I wanna break up and that I can't do it anymore, and then finish with my current goals to date my ex again? Or get rid of my ex and marry my boyfriend in the future after I'm done with college?
( I use get rid of him because for some reason it doesn't let me say the 🚫 word 😭 )
Anyways please help me!!