My ex-wife and I were married for nearly 15 years before divorcing in late 2024, following a long separation. We share split custody of our children and generally have a well functioning co-parenting relationship. I have been with my girlfriend for about eight months now (my first serious relationship since the divorce) but we’ve hit a standstill regarding her and my ex-wife meeting.
My ex-wife insists on a 'controlled' 1-on-1 meeting, like a coffee shop or via FB Messenger, before she will be around my girlfriend in group settings. My ex does not want me around or present during this meeting but says I can come to the meeting as long as I sit somehwere far away. However, due to past experiences, my girlfriend is uncomfortable meeting her without me present. I fully support my girlfriend’s boundaries and feel my ex’s demand for a solo meeting is overreaching, yet the friction is making co-parenting difficult.
This has spilled over into our social lives. We share a friend group, and my ex refuses to attend any events where my girlfriend is present because they haven't 'met.' While I give her a heads-up so she can choose whether to attend, she now feels I am pushing her out of the circle. This is particularly frustrating since she has a long-term boyfriend whom I am perfectly fine being around. I want to maintain a positive co-parenting dynamic, but I’m struggling to find a path forward that respects my girlfriend’s comfort while lowering the tension with my ex.
How do I encougage a cordial meeting between the two of them in a setting that makes my girlfriend comfortable? Any advice on how I effectly navigate this situation which keeping a positive coparenting experience?