Need advice on a man
Hey all! I read the wiki and I’m more up to speed with this community. I definitely resonate with this community and the members here. I also appreciate the values of honesty and truth in the group so would appreciate some advice.
This is going to be a long one so I’m sorry for that. There’s this one man who I’m hung up on and need a wake up call with. He’s a friend of a family member. He’s very masculine and organized which I like. He’s family oriented and wants marriage. I’m insanely attracted to him. He has a nice job and is good at his job. He’s intelligent and can be sweet at times. But some stuff came up.
He likes to argue with people. My family member told me that his friend, “always has to be right”. The man in question has rolled his eyes while my friend was talking, laughed at my sister for simply liking a feminine tv show, and has tried to have intense discussions about sensitive topics multiple times with me without me asking for them. Being a RPW, I don’t like arguing with men and just simply told him that he can have his opinions and that I don’t want to argue with him.
He’s a firm atheist and has tried to text me things about atheism and why there is no God. I am religious and told him that already. He has flirted with many of my friends and many of my friends have felt uncomfortable around him/don’t like him. He tends to be negative about things and has acted judgmental towards women.
He unfortunately has an alcohol problem (drinks often and a lot while only being at home) and acts inappropriately while drunk. He has pressured me to drink before. When he was with his ex girlfriend he would roll in my DMs over Instagram trying to flirt with me and asked me to hang out one on one with him even though we had a history of flirting before he got with his ex girlfriend. I remained respectful and did not meet up with him one on one.
One time he said that people are “90% their biology and don’t change” which could indicate that he isn’t into personal growth. And lastly I’ll mention that there have been times where he acted passive aggressive and rude towards me. I won’t get into the exact interactions because this post is already too long. But he will be sweet one moment and rude the next.
With all that being said, I think I’m letting my attraction towards him cloud my judgement. He’s not conventionally attractive but I think it’s his energy. It feels addicting.
What can I do to regulate myself and make good decisions moving forward? I don’t think I should be with him. I would want to change him and that’s a big no as a RPW. This man has too many red flags right? Sometimes I question myself. Everything I typed out was true and not dramatized. Thank you.