For context I’m a colleges student early 20s. So my previous relationship was with a girl who I would classify is a 10/10. She is a great person, easily one of the kindest ppl I’ve ever met. Very popular with ppl, extroverted, and everyone likes her, always getting invited to things and what not, yet was willing to hang out with anyone and had friends of all races, very open-minded. Was a great partner as well, very supportive of me and stuck w me through thick and thin in my rock bottom even when I was in a bad spot and wasn’t doing the same for her. Even when I would say crazy ambitious things that most ppl would laugh abt she would tell me I could do it.
She was also insanely attractive, probably the prettiest girl in her sorority objectively speaking. Even when we were dating she got hit on pretty often and ppl would dm her all the time (obviously she never reciprocated). The first time I saw her my jaw dropped. Like, she’s bad. Obviously no one’s perfect and she had flaws which I won’t discuss.
She was my first serious relationship and we ended up breaking up due to a bunch of external factors that were in and out of our control shit happens whatever, she’s doing good happy for her.
But it’s been over a year and a half since then, I’m well over this relationship and i just have not found anyone else and I’m starting to get worried. Like I’ve been in multiple situationships since then and I feel like I’ve really given my energy into some of them and it’s just not hitting the same. Most of the women I meet nowadays are just not my vibe or i just don’t find them attractive. To be fair i also go to an extremely nerdy school known to have one of the worse dating pools for colleges and most of the girls here kind of fit that stereotype and are more introverted and I have a hard time meshing with them so that might be a big factor.
Also for ppl who say comparison is the thief of joy and what not and who say looks aren’t important, sure I catch myself sometimes comparing girls I meet to what I had, but also I’ve always had the same high standards. If I don’t think someone is extremely attractive I don’t go for them, which is partially why it took me so long to get my first serious gf (I’m not saying I’m also all that, there’s also been periods of my life where i just could not get girls, like my friends called me no-bitches c in 10th grade) i get that personality is obviously much much more important than looks, i also want my wife to be hot. that’s just the way i am sorry. I’d deadass rather die alone then be with someone I’m not attracted to. Obviously if I develop feelings naturally for someone ik or if someone asks me out that’s different. But I seriously doubt I’d date any of the girls I meet nowadays regardless if I met my ex or not. I don’t see the point of entertaining smth when ik I won’t marry the person.
I was wondering for people who have been in a similar situation, after losing someone like this did you ever end up finding someone as good or marry someone as good? I get that life goes on and you’ll meet someone etc, that’s not what I’m asking. To be clear, I am like 90% over my ex (the last 10% is honestly just because I’m not meeting anyone else I think), I don’t think I’m lonely, I don’t really mind being single for like 10 more years as long as I find that one. My concern is that will never happen because I will never find another 10/10, as in someone who has a super phenomenal personality who is also insanely attractive. And even if I do find someone else, and it’s fine, Ik it won’t ever be as good as I once had it. That is my fear
Also idk how much success/looks plays into it, like obviously there are much more important factors like personality match, how you make your partner feel, things u have in common, when u met them etc but there’s def a some sort correlation between success and attracting women i think. But does that play a role? I would say rn I’m in the top 1% academic wise, if I continue to do well in internships and get a job I will probs be top 1% financially for my age group. (ik this can all change in the future this is just currently) looks wise I’d say I’m 6-7.5 ish depending on how in shape I am. Pretty sociable but have an awkward side. Would that increase my likelihood or is it just bullshit?
Thanks, sorry if I sound arrogant. I will read all the comments but I am mainly looking for advice from men who have been in a similar situation as me.