Is lying a good reason to rematch?
Our au pair has been with us for a little under a week, and we’re already noticing a pattern of dishonesty that’s making us uneasy.
I don’t want to share too many specifics, but it’s mostly small, unnecessary lies - changing details in stories, giving different versions of the same event, exaggerating experience on her application, etc. None of it seems to provide any real benefit to her, which honestly makes it more concerning. It’s gotten to the point where it’s hard to know what’s true because there are contradictions in so many conversations.
I’m trying not to judge her too harshly, and I know everyone adjusts differently in a new environment, but it’s raising concerns for us because we have two young children who can’t really communicate yet. My fear is that if someone lies casually about small things, how can we trust them with bigger things involving the kids?
We’ve genuinely tried to make her feel comfortable and welcomed as part of the family, so this isn’t coming from a place of being overly strict or unkind. There’s also no language barrier - she’s fluent in our language.
Has anyone rematched over something that felt more like a character issue than a childcare issue? Did things improve with time, or did you wish you had acted sooner? I’m torn between giving it more time versus cutting our losses early before everyone gets more attached.