r/Aupairs

Hi everyone! We are a host family in CA! I'm looking for fair, kind takes on this. We've been a host family for 4 years, and both of our au pairs extended with us and said they loved our family and the kids.

The one thing we keep running into is that we don't allow car use. We don't need our au pair to drive the kids, and adding a new US driver would raise our insurance a lot and create liability and safety risks we're not comfortable with. We've tried to make up for it by offering rideshare credits, rides when we can, and help with public transportation. We also cover everything in the home, and we have just a few house rules, like using the alarm and being quiet when you come in late.

Lately we've had several candidates disconnect over the car. My current au pair thinks it's partly because social media makes au pair life look like constant travel and luxury. Some have also said they want more independence. I understand that, but most candidates we talk to have less than a year of driving experience and didn't have a car at home.

Edit: Our previous au pairs met other au pair friends and that is how they got around a lot!

So I'd love to hear: how do other host families handle this? Have you found a middle ground that worked, or ways to help au pairs feel independent without a car? And is there something I'm missing from the au pair side?

So I matched with my host family like a week ago but we haven’t texted much I understand that we are busy but I would like to know if I should be texting more or ask for a call with the kids or anything else I don’t want to be a bother or problem or come as nosy but I feel like since we are going to spend time together like a year I should be involved or at least more since we are matched ,let me know your opinion and thoughts or tips thanks !!

edit: some one said to be clear abut expectations so basically i am traveling next year january, id like to be more involved meaning like day to day or just every once in a while but not in a nosy way maybe more texts eduring the week ,hear more about the kids etc just to bond more before traveling to them