r/Aupairs

Hello! My husband and I have been looking into hiring an aupair. We have 3 children 4, 2, and a newborn. We are located in central MN. My husband is a business owner and tends to work very long hours especially in the summer. I am an RN, but have been casual since becoming a mom. My requirements for working is only 2 shifts a month. So im mostly home. Im still debating on whether ill go back to my job or not since its kind of an inconvenience at this point. We are essentially looking for another set of helping hands. As most things fall on my shoulders like caring for the children almost solely, and managing the entire home by myself it can be alot. My concern is after reading some threads no one wants to be with a SAHM, or in more rural cold areas.

Do you think its even worth trying to find one? 🤔

i’m an au pair from the u.s. in germany. i don’t know if this is the right for me but i also don’t want to return to the u.s. yet. my residence permit is not processed yet, and i’ve been here for over three months. not sure what my available next steps are. any insight or guidance would be really appreciated, i’m freaking out a bit

Hi everyone! This is my first time posting in Aupairs community and would like to ask if there are host who prefer late 20’s aupair with them? I am planning to apply for aupair but not sure if someone would accept me. I am in the phase where I’d like to try new things and experience other country culture. It may be too late but I already have lot experience in work and also to kids. I have 2 brothers who I take care before. I can say you can trust your kids in my care ❤️ anyways, is there a chance?

Hi everyone!
I’m currently an au pair in Europe, and I recently got engaged. My fiancée and I would like to move in together, but because au pair pay is so low, I need to transition into a full-time job. I plan to stay in the same country, and my fiancée already works full-time.
At the moment, my fiancée also has a live-in job, so neither of us currently pays rent. However, we’d like to eventually get our own place together, which means I’ll need a full-time job with a stable income.
I’m wondering if anyone has been in a similar situation and has any advice on how to make the transition.
One thing I’m unsure about is job applications. If I’m available from, say, September (when my agreement with my host family ends), should I mention that on my CV? Are jobs considering candidates that want to get employed in for example 2 months from now?
Another worry is that if I don’t find a job by September, I might need to stay with my host family for a little longer. I’m concerned that they might feel like I’m using them or that it would leave a bad impression, even though that wouldn’t be my intention at all. I don’t want to put them in a difficult position, but I also don’t want to leave before I have a stable job lined up.

Before you start downvoting me, with the Italian passport I can stay in China for a month without getting a visa. Theoretically, then, am I breaking their laws? Do you guys think it's worth giving it a try, since it would only be for a month?

For context, I've been texting a couple Chinese families, along with a Moroccan one and a Spanish one. I'd need to leave soon (around next Tuesday) and stay in the host family for a month before I start going to university. Thank you for reading all the way here, I hope you'll be spending a nice rest of your day!

I’ve been wanting to become an au pair for a while now, but one thing that’s been making me hesitate is about my weight. Is there any kind of weight limit for au pairs? Or do host families generally prefer applicants who aren’t overweight?

I’m overweight but otherwise healthy, active, and fully capable of other skills needed. I know being an au pair involves being energetic and hands-on, and I have no problem with that. I’m just worried that my weight might make it harder for me to match with a host family, even if there isn’t an official requirement.

Has anyone here been an overweight au pair or matched with a host family despite being overweight? I’d really appreciate hearing your experiences or advice because I don’t want my insecurity to stop me from pursuing something I would like to experience. Thank you!

Hi! I’m going to be living in New Jersey as an au pair. I’ll be earning $350 a week (before taxes so I’m actually not sure how much I’ll pay in taxes).
I’d really love to travel while I’m in the US to places like Hawaii, Puerto Rico, California, Boston, and other destinations are on my list. I also want to do one day trips to nyc every week, have an active social life, go out with friends, keep getting my nails done, and hopefully take acting classes.
On top of my au pair salary, my family will send me about $500 a month.
For those of you who have done the program or lived on a similar budget, how would you manage your money? How much would you set aside each week or month for travel, savings, NYC trips, fun, beauty, and hobbies? I’d love to hear what worked for you!

I am putting together a shopping list for our APs arrival. Please let me know if I am missing something big!

Toiletries: shampoo, conditioner, soap, face/body lotion and sunscreen, nail care set

Linens: 2 sets of sheets, blankets and comforter, new pillows, 2 sets of towels (body, hand, washcloth) and a robe and slippers, she can use the house towels for pool and beach

Paper goods: stocked TP, desk supplies with scissors and pens/pencils, stationery

Room set up: queen bed, chair and desk with TV/monitor capabilities, a felt board for pictures, large closet with dresser, hangars, full length mirror, makeup mirror, hooks on door for towels/robe, a keyed lock so our mischievous 5yo can’t get in, a diffuser and essential oils, a nightstand and lamp with usb ports

Snacks and drinks, a water bottle, and a coffee thermos.

Would a mini fridge be appreciated? Grippy socks for the no-shoes areas of the house? Should I get a deodorant/antiperspirant for her? Ear plugs bc that 5yo gets up every day before 5am?

Thanks for feedback!

Has anyone who has done a motivational letter for their au pair visa application got any tips? Anything that’s important to include and what not to include? I have an idea of what I want to write but any advice is appreciated. I’m applying for Belgium.

Au pair in Germany it’s my 3 day on the job and slept until 2pm by accident. From the West Cost of US so I’m still getting used to the time zones. Then my kids keep screaming for their mom and l can’t give her one minute an alone. I feel like I’m shit au pair :(

Hi everyone!
I’m moving to Germany next month as an au pair, and I was wondering if anyone has had a similar experience.
The only thing that makes me a bit anxious is that my host family doesn’t really text unless there’s something important to discuss. Sometimes we go weeks without talking.
The last time we texted was about 20 days ago, when I sent them my flight details. Recently, I sent them a friendly message and then a few questions about kids school schedule, the daily routine, and some general things before my arrival.
They’ve never given me any reason to think they’re cancelling, but the long gaps in communication make me overthink sometimes.

Is this normal for German host families? Were your host families also quiet before you arrived, or did you chat regularly? 🥲

My host family mentioned the option of me staying with them after finishing my Au Pair program (by switching to J-1 status). I’d like to start the process, but I’m looking for recommendations—should I study English or pursue an Associate Degree? What conditions should I negotiate, and how much do you think a host family would be willing to sponsor?

Hi everyone,
I’m trying to figure out whether this is a realistic plan.
I’m currently a medical student in Hungary and I’ll be graduating around 2030, when I’ll be about 25 years old. My long-term goal is to match into a U.S. residency.
Between graduating and applying for residency, I expect to spend time preparing for the USMLE exams, arranging observerships/US clinical experience if possible, and strengthening my application.
I’ve been considering becoming an au pair during part of that time. My thinking is that it would allow me to live in the U.S., improve my understanding of American culture, and have accommodation and meals covered while I study. I’m not expecting to earn a lot of money. My main goal is having a stable place to live while preparing for the next step of my career.
I actually don’t mind childcare. I grew up in Kenya (I’m originally from Uganda) in a large African household and have four younger siblings, so helping look after children has always been part of everyday life. Cooking, helping with homework, keeping the house tidy, and being around older children are all things I’m comfortable with. In fact, I’d probably prefer a family with children around 10 years or older, since they’re more independent and I’d likely have more consistent study time once my responsibilities are done.
I’m happy to fully commit to my duties as an au pair. I just hope to find a family that respects my study time outside of working hours.
Has anyone here done something similar, or hosted an au pair who was also studying for professional exams? Is this a realistic plan, or are there things I’m overlooking?
I’d especially appreciate advice from former au pairs, host families, or IMGs who have gone through the U.S. residency process.

First-time host here! My au pair from Germany arrives next week, and I’m starting to get a little nervous.
Historically, I’m a bit of an “over-host.” I always feel responsible for making everyone comfortable—cooking, cleaning, entertaining, and generally taking care of everyone. Even when I was 9 months pregnant and had family visiting, I still did everything.
My biggest worry is that my au pair will end up feeling like another responsibility instead of the extra support we’re hoping for. I go back to work in 4 weeks, and I’m already so sad about leaving my little boy—he’ll only be 15 weeks old.
I guess what I’m really asking is: how do you find the balance between making your au pair feel welcome and letting your home become her home, too?
Part of me feels like I need to entertain her because it’s her first time in the U.S., but I also have a 2-month-old. Right now, all I really want to do is soak up this time with my baby, go for daily walks, maybe do an outing or two each week, and figure out this whole parenting thing. I don’t have the energy to be a tour guide, and I don’t want to feel guilty about that.
She’ll have her own car, and we’ll be covering gas (within reason), so she’ll have the freedom to explore on her own.
I’d love to hear from other host parents or au pairs. How did you strike that balance? Did you feel pressure to entertain them at first, and how did you make your home feel welcoming without taking on another full-time role?

We meticulously looked into most famous au pair websites and could very hardly find Arabic speaking au pairs. Where can we find them? we know this subreddit is not intended to look for them and this post is not to search for one but we are a family looking to host an Arabic speaking au pair (preferably Egyptian or Jordanian) and just want advice on where to look.

ياريت لو واحدة شافت البوست ومهتمة تشتغل تبعتلنا مسج ع الاكونت

I’m thinking about becoming an au pair, but I’m not sure which location would be better.

A big city sounds exciting because there are more things to do and more people to meet. But a small town sounds more peaceful and maybe easier to connect with the local culture. Also, in a small town, the family I could be with is most likely having a bigger house, which is definitely a big advantage. Idk if it means that I will have more housekeeping work in a bigger house.

Does anyone have experience in a big city and a small town, and know the difference?

I want to know more about aupair in Germany, can someone please say. I know the details but I need to hear the experience of aupairs currently in Germany. After aupair what will you do? Like ausbildung? Fsj? I'm so confused. And how can I pass my b2 there?

Hello everyone. I would really appreciate some outside perspectives because I’m feeling overwhelmed. 😭
I was an au pair in Belgium, and my official contract ended last month on 13 June.
After the contract ended, the host father and I discussed that I would stay under my student status and continue helping with the children. My understanding was that I would continue receiving €450 per month, just as before, under the same arrangement. However, he now says he thought I would stay, continue caring for the children, and receive only accommodation (a room) with no monthly payment.
This has come as a complete shock to me because I never agreed to work without being paid. We’ve now had two major arguments in one week. During today’s argument, I suggested that maybe it would be better for him to find another au pair if we couldn’t agree, and he became very angry and raised his voice.

There have also been ongoing issues that have made me want to leave, including lack of privacy, the house being quite messy, my room not being somewhere I would choose to live in under these circumstances, frequent disagreements about what counts as working hours, and what I have experienced as arrogant and racist behaviour.
At this point, I don’t think I want to continue living or working in this environment. I have some savings, but they’re mainly for my tuition, so I’m stressed about finding somewhere else to stay. I also don’t really have friends or family here that I can stay with. 🥲also am currently doing intensive application of jobs and looking for anything I can do.

Has anyone experienced something similar with a host family? What would you advise me to do? Have any of you had to leave unexpectedly, and how did you manage to find accommodation?
I know one thing for certain: I don’t think I can continue living in this environment anymore.

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I'm planning to become an au pair in Germany. I'm a 24-year-old female, and my goal is to do an Ausbildung. I studied up to B2 but didn't pass the exam. So I took the A1 exam and passed, and with that I'm going for the au pair program. My concern is: after my 1-year au pair stay, I need to pass B2. Is that possible? Will the B2 exam in Germany be very expensive and hard to pass? I'm worried about that, or should I switch to FSJ and then do Ausbildung?

I also have a concern: Will I get rejected? I studied Bachelor of Commerce for 3 years, but I didn’t pass because I failed one subject. I still need to write that exam, but on my CV I put BCom and in brackets I wrote "course completed". I put BCom because I wanted to fill that gap. I only failed one subject, and I will write the exam and pass. So I have some concerns about my CV too. I’m 24 years old — do they accept girls my age? Or will my degree be a problem? I didn’t pass, and I wrote "course completed". I didn’t lie; I only said "course completed" on my CV.

Hi everyone, I need your advice and experiences. I’m a 19-year-old French girl and I’m currently in the process of becoming an au pair in Spain. I’ve been in contact with a family for about a month now and we’ve had two calls. The first call was quite chaotic because both children were present (a 4-year-old and a 6-month-old baby). The mom was feeding the baby while the older child was crying in the background. I had some doubts about how serious/organized things were, but I decided to give it a second chance — and I’m glad I did. The second call went really well. The older child wasn’t present, and the baby was also there but everything was calm and we were able to talk properly without interruptions. It reassured me a lot. Now, if I match with this family, I would leave in about two months (end of August or early September). My question is: would it be appropriate to ask them where they are in their decision process, and whether they see me as a serious candidate? I don’t want to sound pushy or impatient, but I also don’t want to stay in uncertainty for too long. What would you do in my situation?