Confessions
So I've done it. I've broken one of my promises. I told God I wouldn't trade one sin for another, no matter how deeply I was struggling with said sin. But now here I am. I traded it for one equally as bad. I traded my porn addiction for smoking weed.
I won't sugarcoat it or try to justify it. I'm entirely in the wrong for it, even though it's legal in my state. However, I made some promises and ground rules to myself for trading my sin:
- I will not engage in any indulging in imagery or videos of that content.
- I will not smoke in the middle of the day—only at night—and I will not let it affect my daily life.
- I am to pray and read the Bible before use and ask for forgiveness.
Now, I am not advocating for the use of weed. I know it's bad and not healthy for me. But I don't want to look at anybody lustfully or objectively anymore. I want to appreciate people for who they are, and I want to have meaningful relationships with other people. That addiction was eating me up from the inside for the longest time.
I don't want to be coddled or anything, but I just needed to get this off my chest. And well, I don't know who to discuss this with, really. I don't want my parents or my family to see me this way.
Edit: had to fix grammar errors sorry bout that