u/Grayson60606

Hi! I’m Gabe, a 21 year old low support needs autistic adult and I’m in college right now studying psychology. I was just curious about a pattern I’ve noticed in myself, and I was wondering if this a common experience for people on the spectrum or if it is more of a rare thing. I have a couple special interests at the moment but none can compare to my interest in Spring Awakening the broadway musical. I love this show so much and I would genuinely trade years of my life in order to be in a quality production of this show. Ironically, though, I cannot seem to find any sort of community online (tumblr, Reddit, real life) to talk about my interest because people fall into two categories for me— people who don’t understand my interest or don’t enjoy it as much as i do, or people who are very interested in my special interests who i end up disliking. I think i find myself being ‘protective’ of my interests and I almost feel frustrated when people claim to like things and have knowledge about my special interests which makes me not like a lot of fandom spaces. I don’t know if anyone else feels this way.

Let me know if I can clarify anything this is all very intangible haha. Thank you!

Hello! My apologies if this is the incorrect sub for this but I would love to hear the advice and perspective of other autistic adults.

You can call me Gabe. I’m 22 years old and high masking, low support needs autistic. I was told a couple years ago that I didn’t meet diagnostic criteria when I was evaluated, but this is because I looked up the questionnaire questions and prepared my answers (my mom made me get tested and I didn’t ’want to’ be labeled as autistic). I was re-evaluated recently after working with my therapist on unmasking and better understanding myself and I was confirmed to be on the autism spectrum.

I have liked music for as long as I can remember, and I have had a myriad of special interests throughout my life relating to music and theater. At this point in my life, I have a very intense special interest in the broadway musical Spring Awakening by Steven Sater and Duncan Shiek. I will spare you all the details as to why I love it so much, but it is so meaningful to me and I watch it at least once a day, have 6 copies of the script of the musical and original 1891 play in multiple languages, and I actually have a tattoo of Moritz, one of my favorite characters.

As a whole, broadway shows and theater in general has been my most influential and long-lasting special interest. It’s something I have grown to love since high school, and now I have this problem where the time i feel truly ‘alive’ is when I am performing in shows or listening to shows. When I look towards my future, the only thing that I think would fulfill me entirely would be performing. I do not show emotion (ever) around other people, but every time i see a broadway show i break down into tears, partly because i am so overwhelmed with joy and also because i feel such a profound sadness in mourning the fact that I am not succeeding in this career.

Although it is my dream more than anything to perform on broadway professionally, I know that this goal is very unlikely. I am a 4.0 student at a prestigious university in the US, currently studying psychology and French language. I graduate next year, and I am already working in research labs and working a second job at a coffee shop. I enjoy school and work, but as i near grad school I’m realizing that it doesn’t feel meaningful and it will likely never feel as meaningful as performing does. And my opportunities to do so keep diminishing as i grow older.

So i guess I’m just looking for advice or consolation from others that my life not revolving around my special interest can still be fulfilling, or that there is still a change to change my path. Sorry for the rambling.

Thanks for reading!