[IIL] Lobotomy by Biliap
(I talked to AI before coming here and got nowhere so I just asked it to condense everything I explained so I can ask Reddit. PLEASE tell me there's anything out there like this)
I'm looking for music that conveys a very specific feeling I can only describe as depersonalization as a permanent state. Not the terror of falling into dissociation, not nostalgia for who you used to be — just the quiet, vacant aftermath. Like watching through a window at a lobotomy patient who has no idea he used to be a functioning person. He's not suffering, he's not remembering, he's just sitting there. A shell that breathes. Nobody home.
The music itself is fully synthetic/digital, thin and bassless — it doesn't sound full or warm or bodily. It's composed enough to feel intentional but empty enough that it doesn't feel like anyone is actually there making it. No real structure like a song, but not just ambient texture either. It floats without weight.
The one track I have that nails this is Lobotomy by Biliap. Even the artist can't recreate it. I've looked into hauntology, dark ambient, isolationist ambient, drone — always close but never quite right. I'm not looking for decay or memory or horror. Just stillness where a person used to be.