How Can I (50F) Break Free from the Spiral of Dental Regret?
From a young age, I brushed twice a day and saw the dentist every 6 months. As a child though, I didn’t floss and ate sugary snacks, so I had a few cavities early on.
My father only brushes once a day and is now in his late 80s with no cavities. My mother, on the other hand, has had extensive dental work throughout her life. She also fed me with her own utensils when I was a baby, which makes me wonder how much genetics and oral bacteria played a role from the beginning.
In my mid-20s, I got 4 veneers on my front teeth to correct alignment and cover previous dental work on two of them. Over time, those veneers became crowns.
As an adult, I brush twice daily, floss every night, use a water flosser, and rinse with non-alcohol mouthwash. I genuinely try to take care of my teeth.
And yet, over the years, I’ve still needed fillings replaced and crowns redone because of decay around previously treated teeth. Now I’m facing an extraction of my upper second premolar due to a gum infection. I have more treated teeth than healthy ones.
My dentist reassures me that these issues are happening in the teeth that already had prior work done, not because I’m developing new cavities. Still, I can’t shake the feeling of regret. I keep wondering what I did wrong, or wishing I could go back in time and make different choices.
For dentists and dental professionals: how do you help patients cope with the shame, regret, or self-blame that can come with long-term dental problems, even when they’ve tried their best?
Edit: I'm not a smoker and overall healthy.