What do I do
I’m an 0331 and I graduated ITB a few months ago. I’ve been stationed in Japan for about 2 months now and honestly my mental health is getting destroyed.
During ITB I started having panic attacks, really bad anxiety, and depression. About halfway through training my father committed suicide, and I feel like I never really processed any of it because I just kept pushing through to graduate.
Physically I can do the job. That’s not the issue. Mentally though, infantry is crushing me and it’s getting worse instead of better. I feel constantly anxious and on edge and I don’t know how much longer I can keep pretending I’m fine.
When we’re in the field I’ll sometimes try to sneak off by myself for a few minutes because I feel panic attacks coming on and I’m trying not to completely lose it in front of everyone. I know that probably sounds weak as hell, but I genuinely don’t know what to do anymore.
I also struggle really badly with sleep now. I have a hard time falling asleep and when I do sleep I wake up constantly and never feel rested. I feel mentally exhausted all the time.
I genuinely don’t know what my options are. Can you change your MOS after hitting the fleet? Is there any way to get out honorably if your mental health is getting bad enough? I’m not trying to quit because things are hard physically — I just honestly feel like I’m drowning mentally.
If anyone’s been through something similar or knows what the process actually looks like, I’d appreciate real advice.