r/regretjoining

This seems to be the only subreddit that will actually help me as opposed to shaming me.

Anyways im 18M, a few months ago i decided I wanted to join. Im still in high school so I had to wait until I graduated to ship out. Basically close to mt graduation date my school told me I didnt complete credit recovery for a math class (I did) and I was going to fail my current math class (I was going to DEFINITELY fail)

So i told my recruiter about this and told him I planned to drop out and go to the community college and finish my diploma he said "Okay just keep me updated". When the station commander heard I stopped going he called me and basically the call went like this "MOTHERFUCKER WE NEED TO TALK, why havent you been going to school? Youre a fucking moron, youre a kid you dont get to make these decisions, you think you know everything and you dont. Just sit your ass down and let me handle this and go back to that school"

I was firm on not attending this school anymore because no way around it I wouldnt be able to ship out on time and he failed to understand that. I started ghosting him and he sent recruiters to my house so they could put him on the phone with me and further insult me and try to make me go back.

Eventually I got tired of the shit and was firm on finishing my education my way and told them Im no longer interested in shipping out and not to return to my house.

3 weeks went by of the station commander trying to call me after telling him im not interested anymore and he called the police and told them I have a history of depression and may be a threat. And they sent THREE fucking cops and did a welfare check. I wasnt home and just talked to them over the phone and in 2 minutes they were gone

(When I was 14 I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety and my psychologist misinterpreted something I said and wrote that I would hit my head on shit out of rage. I feel like he's using this against me. He would often poke fun at this and ask me if I was fucking crazy in the past)

The next day two other recruiters came to my house and apologized for the unprofessional attitude of the station commander and want me to complete something called sophia I think so I can still ship out. They want me to come in today and talk. What do I do man I feel like they wont give me peace.

I can't believe I ever thought this stupid country was worth fighting and dying for.

Americans are stupid enough to elect Trump president again for a third term.

So after all the shit I’ve done to get to this point, it’s finally here. You can even see some of my past posts on this subreddit.

Just wondering, what exactly does a condition-not-disability discharge look like? According to my SGTMAJ and apparently the CO, it’ll be honorable. If that’s true, what does that look like in terms of benefits, VA shit, and all that jazz?

Should I try to fight this and push for a MED board?

This is my last post here, but really this seems to be my only option for help. I left a voicemail for BH cause it was after hours, my question is do they actually call back?

So I’m pretty sure I’m about to get a 3rd piece of paperwork in 5 months and I’ve only been in a year. My leadership keeps saying since I’m so early in my career that I could be adsep for failure to adapt. Has anyone been in a similar situation and got discharged? It won’t be the worst thing for me but I just need answers.

Hi , I decided to not continue with the navy and finish college instead , but was wondering all I have to is message the recruiter to release me from dep and that’s it? I heard from others they may ask you to go in person to do a final signature but I’m leaning into not doing that since I know they are going to try and convince me last second.

I made a post the other day about how I am struggling and I finally had a appointment with Chaps, and doesnt even show up.

The Navy has absolutely destroyed every single aspect of my life and is actively deteriorating my mental state

My personal relationships with people I care about have gone to absolute shit, to the point where no recovery is genuinely possible

Every single fucking day I wake up and walk into that galley (CS) I want to blow my brains out. If I was any other rate, and stood watch, I would take that gun and shove it down my throat

When I say I Cannot anymore? I mean it

I cant work another week, I cant watch everything keep falling apart

I Need to get my life back, and I need it now

Talking to the HM's has resulted in absolutely nothing, it seems like itll be months before any sort of action comes and I just cant wait months

Like holy fuck

What at this point of time do I need to do? I looked into drug use and self reporting but that seems to be a months long process at minimum and I just cant

If I had a suicide attempt and was in a civilian hospital, would the navy be forced to react and actually fast track getting me out? Or lmfao, just end up right fucking back in that galley for another 6 months

In the navy right now and I just want out. I’m not sure what route to even take. I’m on deployment right now but I’ve wanted to get out for a while now. I’m thinking about just smoking and self reporting and just letting it ride. I don’t even care about the benefits anymore I just want out. 2.5 years in. was told once you get to the fleet it would be better. yea definitely not

And people are still happy and even proud to say that they “serve” under him. He’s our boss. He’s all over the goddamn files and is documented as someone who likes young girls and sticking his finger into their vaginas to rate their tightness, and this is the motherfucker I work for. Fuck him and all his associations.

My job puts planes in the sky. Why? So they can go and blow up schools and hospitals. In Palestine, in Lebanon, in Iran. Why? So they can distract from that motherfucker’s name being *all over* the goddamn files. Because in moments of clarity that are becoming all the more rare with his advancing dementia, he knows he wants people to not think of the fact that he likes to fuck children. Yes, the President of the United States of America enjoys having sex with children. Best friends with a notorious, cartoonishly evil child fucker for over a decade. My boss fucks kids. We are not the good guys.

No Iranian ever made my life miserable. No Iranian ever made me suicidal. We have to keep in mind who the real enemy is here. Is it about hegemony or survival? We’re not happy unless we’re number one in controlling global affairs. Fuck all of it.

Is there any other job in the world that tries to convince you to stay even if you want to leave??

Every time I tell someone I want to EAS, I always hear “Why” and “Let’s talk about this some more”

There’s no way jobs in the civilian world try to convince you to stay WHEN YOU WANT TO GET OUT

I joined the ITBP two months ago after a year of hard preparation, but now I find myself completely conflicted. I always used to imagine that once I got a job, I’d be able to come home, enjoy my gaming setup, and go out for bike rides. But reality here is completely different. The strict military discipline leaves no room for those things. Even with leaves, out of the official 75 days, traveling eats up so much time that you only get about 50 actual days at home. Lately, I’ve been thinking that a 9-to-5 corporate job might have been better because at least you get your evenings and weekends to yourself. But then again, I don’t have a specialized degree or high-income skills yet—just basic computer knowledge. Plus, when I look at people working 9-to-5 jobs, most of them seem unhappy and stressed too. Right now, it feels like I’m trapped in a cage. The respect and the steady salary are definitely here, but the freedom to do the things I’ve dreamed of since childhood is completely missing. I feel lost and don't know what to do."

It's normal to think like this bcz it's my first job need some advice

*EDIT. For future readers : The Military is a CULT. Escape as soon as you can don't fall for the whole reserves after doing active duty scam. don't waste another 4 years on bullshit like I did. GET OUT USE YOUR GI BILL F**** THE GOV THEY DONT CARE ABOUT YOU. Please don't fall for their lies like I did.

The military is very controlling. Authoritarian they don't care about you. You are trained to be afraid of them. They basically teach you how to be a battered wife, the whole batter wife syndrome. They don't care about you, they just want to make you afraid so that you're easily controllable and that you're afraid of getting punished. That's it. They punish you. They put you through a bunch of s*** they make you afraid to question authority and then they use that fear to control you and send you to die in war. That is what that is, what basic training is about. It's not about making you stronger. You know it's about making you obedient without making you not question because you're so afraid from all the pain from all the from all the the crap that they just keep pushing and pushing and pushing you and you just want it to stop because they just keep overwhelming you with this. b******* and b******* and b******* and b******* that you just feel this exhausted the aggression, the violence you want it to stop so you just comply and you become obedient and they use that obedience to to control you and to do whatever they want with you and then you're disposable and once they use you and then they throw you out. They don't care about your mental health they don't care about your well-being. Morale isn't a thing in the military you just you just get abused and you're just supposed to take the abuse and you you get tree like crap and you're supposed to just take it and take it and take it and take it and take it after. While you just kind of like I don't want to deal with this people anymore. They're just bad they're they're just toxic the military rewards toxic people in the regular system. Or if you if you treated your spouse or you treated your boyfriend, your girlfriend like crap. You would be an abuser but in the military abuse is normalized abuse is is okay. It's it's it's it's it's part of the culture. It's it's how it's supposed to work but it's it's f***** with you in the long term and it's not healthy and and you get out in the military and you're just like this broken crap. It's just like you just you're not stronger no you just you just worn down from all from all this being yelled at and from just being treated like crap and it just like you're just you just feel like a battered wife you feel like broken down and nobody cares. you talk to the VA. They don't give a s*** they don't care. The VA doesn't care. You tell you tell your reserve commander your commander doesn't have your back. It is just to get treatrd like crap and then they're like oh and then they keep trying to get you like. Oh you're going to give up on this great opportunity with the military. You know what you guys were treating me like crap. I don't want to do this anymore. You keep lying to me all this opportunities. No there's opportunities are gone. All the contracts are gone. They've admin cut them. The admin cut the contracts. There's so what was the point of all this? It's just to get treated like crap I have to get out. I'm leaving the government now because I'm tired of being treated like garbage. Nobody cares about me. I'm disposable. I'm just supposed to sit in front offor this computer and it just in case we get a f****** email that's never going to get. That's not ever going through the email binbox it's never going to come in a . You're just a puppet to to use and exploit and then they throw you away and they don't even pay you enough and none of this is worth it. None of this is worth it. I have to escape otherwise I'm going to just continue being a slave just like I was treated like crap in the government though. Everybody treat me like crap. I'm a nice guy I might think. Oh no you're probably dead. Just wanted it to play. Just play Mr narcissist then then just just treatrd everybody like crap. I don't understand why it's so it's just so much toxicity and the system every. It's just so much toxic. I don't understand what that's going on. I've had jobs where the people were nice. Bug every time working with the government. It's just toxic this lies. Oh yeah we'll get you there. Oh yeah we'll do this for you. Oh we're going to do this. Really cool thing. Then it never ends up happening. This is all you do is just lie and gaslight and abuse and exploit. Chasing a carrot that's never gonna happen. All these people do is lie. I want to get out of the government so bad. I am miserable. I feel like a slave. Everything's too expensive so they keep you trapped in your job. It's like it's almost it's All by design. They make everything too expensive and then they keep you and then they know you can't leave. So then they treat you like crap because they know they can get away with it because there's nowhere you can run to this this money system. It's so f***** up. It's just abuse. It's this normalized abuse. They're no freedom in this country. We're all just slaves. Slavery just never went away. They just make everything more expensive than we just keep grinding and getting abused and it never ends. Fuck you boss. You stupid ex marine exploiter.

Basically what the title says, if I decide to spill the beans to someone and want to leave am I screwing up my future with a dishonorable or something and how long does this usually take? (In A-School)

I joined the Navy for money, traveling, and to get outta my mothers house. Now that I am here I feel like I am living a life that is not mine. A life on someone else's time. Ive already got in trouble for drinking, and have been escaping just to come back. I urge to stay gone. I do not want to be apart of this so called team. I feel much more mature than the other sailors here. Im tired of the childlike mindsets and behaviors I have to deal with, I am exhausted of being told everything and continue to break their rules and regulations. I have not talked to a chaplain yet because I dont wanna rat myself out or get put in an even shittier situation. If this is how the Navy makes me feel, I feel like I should not be a sailor for them. I am so used to feeling so lost, but now I just feel like a slave. I dream of living on my own time without rules or regulations. I feel as though I can find other ways to travel and make money as a civilian.

I could see how this can be percieved as dramatic or just complaining, but any insight and advice is greatly welcomed. I would love to hear other points of views on this and opinions. I am 24 by the way.

Hi, so I’m a junior in college and around 7 months ago I decided i wanted to join the navy due to me failing a class and my aid got taken away which meant I had to take loans, and I was like fuck it ima drop out since I had a interest on the military for a while. I started the process on papers and stuff and randomly the university gave me my aid back for some reason I still don’t why to this day, and I asked some people and even they don’t know. I retook the class which was accounting and passed it then passed all the classes I had that semester and now just finished another semester of passing. I have 93 credits and I talked with my brothers and friends and they support me going to the navy , but they said isn’t it smarter to just finished another semester college and then think about joining again which is may 2027. Thought I already swore in and everything and ship date is July, and I’m very stuck in a bubble there’s half of me wanting to join and try a new experience and how college will always be there to go back, and another part of me saying to stay finish get that business management degree. I don’t know and if I do decide since I’m in dep do I just text my recruiter I’m done and that’s it? Need advice please 🙏.Forgot to mention but I needed waivers for my eye and anxiety and got approved and feel bad for my recruiter that I did all that just to not go

For preface I got out of bootcamp then was sent to ffg for a little, and now I am at A-School in Pensacola. I have never once in my life felt depressed in my life even thru boot camp I was relatively good. Something has changed though and I feel like something in me has died. I want to quit but I also feel like if I quit I am going to fuck my life up, but mentally I dont know if i can do all 4. I just need advice and to talk to someone online (Id feel like such a pussy going in person)

Hello, so I was thinking about joining the army reserves but lately I’ve been having second thoughts. Don’t have many people in my real life that I can talk to about this bc most of the people I know are active duty so I wanted to learn more about the negative side of the reserves. I asked my recruiter but of course they will be biased.

I have hated every single second of my life ever since I got off the bus at Lackland. Fuck that, ever since I stepped foot off the plane at the air port. Basic training was genuine suffering for me, boring bullshit, pointless rules, restriction, dumbasses, egotistical sergeants, weird shit in the showers.

Emphasis on the weird shit in the showers. Dudes have made comments about my body, stared at me, touched me, looked at me through stall doors, pantsed me, good gamed me, licked their lips at me, winked at me. All this weird ass shit and they play it off as a joke. I don't see anything funny about it tbh, they all do it to each other like it's normal. I never knew that grown ass men had such compulsion to touch each other and make gay jokes so much. It's not middle school it's just weird now. 40 year old men behaving like children with people half their age holy shit.

Out of all the dumb decisions I have made in my 20 years of life this has got to be the worst. I only joined because I need money and the economy sucks. Couldn't afford college and wanted to avoid debt. In hindsight I should've just taken the debt. I don't even agree with America or its military industrial complex I only joined out of necessity.

My mental health is genuinely taking such a steep decline. I cannot imagine being at this tech school for a year, and then going to another tech school for 4 months just to learn fucking Persian-farsi. I didn't even want this fucking job and I do not care about being in Monterey. Today is the 77th day that I have been in the Air Force. I spent 66 days in basic because I got recycled over some stupid shit that wasn't even my fault. That was the worst time in my life, that might genuinely top when my dad died right before my senior year of Highschool.

I hear that after 180 days I can get out with VA benefits for mental health. How do I do this? The military has made me such an angry, frustrated, depressed, nihilistic, cynical person and I want out. How the fuck do I get outta here? Please help I will genuinely blow my shit smooth off if I can't leave.

TLDR: I was the victim of weird shit in showers in basic, I hate being here, Ive been in 77 days, my mental health is declining, I don't want to be in tech school for 2 years, I want to get out with mental health benefits for what the military has done to me. Please advise.

I’m currently in A school and about to go into my second week of classes. I am reaching the 180 day ELS point and I am nervous to talk to anyone. I genuinely can’t do it anymore even though I keep pushing. I am worried I lose myself mentally but I am afraid no one will take me seriously. I have been in since December 2025, and I am constantly feeling depressed. I also have issues going on at home. Thank you in advance!

Hopefully it is still possible to separate within this time period. I made a huge mistake by coming here. The benefits are great, but at what cost.