u/Greenmantle22

I’m a truck stop men’s room. Sean keeps insisting on checking me out every nine miles.

Dig those AI photos, too!

The seat lifts up for storage, so you can take your wine coolers AND your wraparound shades to the mailbox. No more sober stumbling for This Gal!

I’m the trivia questions about Dryel and Crispix.

Sadly, she doesn't look like this anymore. She had a bad facelift about a decade ago, and was BUTCHERED by some fool.

But she says she's alone since the death of her longtime companion, and has no plans to marry a fifth time.

Tyler Boebert, 21, was arrested in Colorado on charges of child sexual exploitation. Charges stem from accusations made by the parents of Tyler's then-underage girlfriend, who claim he filmed their sex acts while she was 17.

This is the same one who made her a grandma in her 30s. No word yet if his baby mama is the same teenager he filmed himself fucking.

Founded in 1952 by a frustrated businessman who hated the tackiness of roadside motels, Holiday Inn boomed to over a thousand locations by 1968. Central to the company's brand was standardized decor and staff training, a nationwide (and eventually global) computer reservations system, and some really big marquee signs.

They're still around today, but it just isn't the same, is it? So if you were there in the golden age, tell us about it.

I'm the 47 varieties of "short rib" served with a dubious brown sauce, chosen mainly because it's a cheap cut of meat that doesn't melt when reheated in that little galley oven.

Now that we're up and running, we need some ideas on how to spruce up this pigsty. Muriel's place was famously drab and low-rent, but now that we've got a new sugar daddy at Reddit, we can branch out and put up some tasteful art. But it's still Datalounge, so let's not kid ourselves.

I was thinking of iconic imagery that eldergays would/should recognize: A thumbnail of Empress Nympho picking suitors, or Bette Davis smoking, or Alexander Skarsgaard making a tossed salad. A color scheme that either recalls Muriel's Place or grossly rejects it.

We need your ideas here. And remember: I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at THE DIRT!