u/Greenwells_Stache

My wife wants my 13 year old some to move to a different club, 45 minutes across the city. I posted on here a few days ago about him getting dropped from the 2nd team to the 3rd at our club 15 minutes away that we have loved for the most part. He has friends on the 3rd team but it feels like a rec team, and he’d be the best player easily, plus the roster is 20 kids!.

The only other team he tried out for is a club on the other side of the city. He made the 2nd team there and watching him play with them it definitely feels like a better fit. To me, the drive feels unreasonable, adding hours a week of driving to our already overfull lives. We also have a 10 year old that plays club soccer and a 7 year old.

This led to a bigger conversation between my wife and I about what it means and should mean to be a parent of kids that play club sports. She said “ this is what I signed up for, it’s our job. We do whatever we need to to support them and what is best for them.”

I see it differently. I signed up for it too, but for me being a club sports parent means three practices a week games on the weekend, some training at home. To her it means all that plus guest playing on other teams whenever possible, extra private trainings to fill every open evening, 2 or more futsal teams in the winter. It feels obsessive to me. She’s spends so much time around other soccer parents, it feels normal to her.

I just feel like being a sports parent shouldn’t mean no balance in life . I/we don’t have time for hobbies, seeing friends often, taking care of ourselves. I have to go running at 10pm if I want to fit exercise in. And I’m okay with most of that I think. I love being a parent. And I understand that means sacrifice. But I feel guilty for not wanting to drive my son to a club 45 minutes away even though that’s what’s best for his soccer development.

I would really appreciate hearing any other perspectives on what sacrifices makes sense and what is too much

My son has played 2 years for the 2nd team at a large club here in our city. Felt like he was one of the better offensive players on the team over the last two years. Started at #10 and as a wing. High soccer IQ, technically skilled, best passer and hardest shot on the team. He’s tall and skinny, hasn’t gone through puberty, not powerful or explosive, and not tenacious enough in defense or fighting for the ball.

Tryouts came and immediately they had him playing on the third field and we were shocked. Second field consisted mostly of a large number of bigger, older kids who have dropped down to U-14 because of the age cutoff change. He dominated on the third team and was moved to the second field on the second day of tryouts. Scored a two goals in the scrimmage but had trouble with the physicality. He was placed on the third team after tryouts. He will easily be the best player on that team.

I want to believe this will be motivating for him and that he will work hard to become stronger and faster and more physical, but I also know that being the best player on a team isn’t the best thing for development. He won’t be challenged in practices and won’t get the opportunity to play against quality opposition. We didn’t have him try out at any other clubs because we didn’t see this coming.

It just sucks because he puts in so much work outside of practice. Trains hard on his own, plays lots of futsal, plays as a guest on other teams where he can. Things none of the other players on his new team. Quality feels similar to rec.

To make matters worse, his 10 year old brother is thriving and will start at striker on the top team for his age. I just feel for him. He loves soccer more than anything and I don’t want him to lose that.