r/youthsoccer

Tldr... If a u10g is 4th 5th team is she too behind to catch up to premier in 2-3 years when exnl and high school starts?

Trying to get perspective on soccer development for girls. And when is it too late to catch up? Daughter played 1 year rec then 1 year academy. Team played d tier competition. Very bad team with no coaching on how to play. Plus side was she got lots of playing time and improved a lot. Spring half of season she blossomed and dominated at that tier. I can see a clear difference between the premier team kids but when she practiced with 2nd 3rd team she competed.

We decided to move to a better club with quality coaching and more than one team for a better chance to develop. Although she looked good in practice with the 2nd and 3rd team kids, at tryouts she looked bad. Partly from not being ready and unfortunately half just from being uncomfortable and timid in the new environment.

Anyway I'm worried she's going to get bottom team again or not even make it at all. Normally I would think oh well she's ten we will just work hard and get better and climb up. But I'm worried if that's how it works. If there's already kids at premier getting premier coaching and playing premier competition aren't they just going to keep improving faster while we get stuck? Is jumping 4 levels too much?

She's passionate and wants to practice and get better and work her way up to premier and make ECNL when she's older. So I want to encourage her and use this as fuel to work and improve. But If she's not already knocking on the door of premier is it unrealistic?

My kid's 6, been playing about 6 months. Quietly loves it. Not the loudest on the pitch but you can tell it means a lot to him.

Early on I kept doing the thing on the drive home where I'd debrief him. Not harshly just like "you played well today", "next time try to..." thought I was being a good dad honestly.

Then I read something that got me. Kids were asked what they wished parents would say after games and the most common answer was nothing. Just "I loved watching you play."

Now I just wait for him to speak first. If he doesn't I say "I really enjoyed watching you, what was your favourite part?" and then actually shut up.

He talks about it so much more now. Brings it up himself.

Took me way too long to figure out. Anyone else had one of those moments with this stuff?

Have a rising u14 player who is GK. Made HG team and NL team. Been at NL club for years now. What is the best team to go to if he wants to go pro? Background, HS is not a huge deal, he was RL and got promoted to NL, Next HG has training built into practice but he has to earn his play time. NL guaranteed at least half game play all the time, but we are afraid the Next team will black ball him. We already do private GK training and private foot and ball skills training. Is it really about the guarantee of play time or is it better to send him MLSNext HG now? What do you think?

So a little background i have an 7 year old boy who is playing u9. He is the best player on this club and also he was the best player in his last club as well. During games the opposing teams parents have asked multiple times for his age so I have to bring his ID wherever we go.

He is also ambidextrous and a natural born athlete akin to his father (me). Usually the coach will have to swap him out to play goalkeeper as to not have him score too many goals on the opposing team.

He can also do about 50 juggles right now and he's working on 100. Hes really motivated to learn and play soccer which is great too see but im I dont want to push him too much right now.

That's why I only have him playing at 2 clubs right now and im not going to be adding him to a 3rd.

So anyway my question is during the game the ref made a real bad call so my question is what to do about bad refs? Thanks

I’ve watched kids on my team (U9) grow immensely over the past year and I’ve been super happy and super pleased teaching and watching them grow their skills as individuals.

We’re a small club and started with a mixed bag of talent. This winter and spring I saw kids go through some really great performances and really bad performances. I always wondered what it could be if everyone clicked at once. Well... I saw it this past weekend at a tournament where we took second.

They were making great crosses, making four, five, six, seven passes in a row, switching the field, amazing 1v1's, and more. Basically I want to brag on my players and say how proud I am of them. It's a great feeling and I hope all y'all get to see it and feel it too!

Hoping someday soon parents who join these mls and ecnl clubs for 10k to 15k total cost per yr, finally wake up and realize you have a bad investment. Well, that's where all the competition is at! That's because you have been told it was betrer and you are paying way over what you should be. All the leagues that use to be competitive are now watered down because you listened. Just think of what you could have done with all those thousands and thousands of dollars. You say I did for the kid? You did it for bragging rights most likely. Bring the kids back to the lower leagues and save alot of money. Do the research and actually see how many America kids get good scholarships

My U13 son is leaving his current club almost certainly. He has 3 teams he wants to tryout for. Our state has dumb rules so basically every club is holding tryouts the same 2 - 3 days. Luckily the tryouts don't overlap but they are same day.

Day 1 and 2 its 2-4 at club a, 4-6 at club b, and 730 - 9 for club c.

Day 3 clubs a and b are both 4 - 530

Obviously that is an ungodly amount of soccer even for a 12 year old. Luckily his 3rd favorite option is the last one of the day.

So my question is, is it better to try and hit all 3 tryouts the first 2 days, and then pick 1 on day 3? This is not ideal because obviously you wont play your best on your 6th hour of soccer that day, and don't want him to get hurt.

Or smarter to hit 1 each day so hes not physically overextended?

Or something in the middle?

He's fairly familiar with his top 2 choices, attending practices for about a month with 1 and 3 practices with team 2, but he played there previously so they know about him already. These are all very good teams, would be a step up for him, and making them is not 100% guaranteed although we are pretty confident on his top 2.

have a U15 MLS Next AD player and lately I’ve been rethinking the whole “you have to outwork everyone” mentality.

For a while, I was probably pushing a little too much. Extra tournaments, extra sessions, always thinking about what more he “should” be doing. But recently I’ve stepped back a bit, and honestly, I’m starting to wonder if he actually has a healthier approach than me!

His schedule is still solid:
3 club trainings a week
usually 1 private technical session
lifts around 3x a week because he genuinely enjoys the gym

But he’s also someone who prioritizes academics, recovery, sleep, and listening to his body. If something feels off physically, he doesn’t just push through it to prove he’s working hard enough.

And when I really step back and look at that, I actually think that’s pretty mature and smart.

I used to have the whole “eventually people are going to outwork you” conversation with him. And maybe there’s some truth to that. But I’m also starting to wonder if youth sports culture sometimes overvalues constant grinding and undervalues balance, recovery, and sustainability.

His goals are realistic too, at least I think so. We’re probably talking D2/D3 potential, not “future pro” expectations.

So now I’m curious what others think. Is there something to be said for training smart, staying healthy, and keeping the sport enjoyable instead of constantly chasing more?

I never played soccer so take this with a grain of salt….

My son has gotten really into soccer. He’s okay. Not great but an average player on his club team. With his interest growing, I’ve started to learn more about it.

One thing that bugged me about this past season was the focus on mistake free playing. It seems to hurt the player development.

Some examples:

- Goal kicks booting it past build out line
-Kickoffs go backwards and then a big boot towards the opposing goal
-Defenders just booting it to the other side
-Defenders always taking the ball to the outside instead of looking for the open player
-Midfielders afraid to pass across the field

Is this like this everywhere in youth soccer? How do other coaches handle this?

Edit: For clarification: this is 11U

No real question, just a thought dump.
We are with a smaller club, it’s been great. Bigger club is recently in ECNL for team 1 (2-4 teams per age). I’ve always heard mixed things about coaches and parents.
My younger player is good, I finally let him do larger club tryouts but we had no intention of switching. We’ve had good discussions about not making a rash “grass is greener on the other side” change. He gets it, was very happy about the prospect of playing up in our current club.
Anything other than the top team is a pretty lateral move. ECNL, and RL, have been rough for this club.
While I do think my kid can hang with the top team from the games I’ve seen (before age group changes), for multiple reasons I had low expectations—he’s on the younger end now, wasn’t feeling great, missed some of the tryouts, coming from a different club…but he got offered to train with the top team the first week, for further evaluation. I’m shocked.
And now, how can I say No to that chance if he’s offered it and wants it? All my logic went out the window.
I feel like I need to go back and edit all my posts that sounded so confident we would never switch 🙈

My son is 8 years old and we’re deciding between two clubs for the 2026-27 season. Development is our only priority — not trophies, not rankings. Both teams play in the top league and all of the top tournaments in our area.

Option A: Uses a “pod” model — instead of a traditional A and B team, they split one large academy-style training group into two evenly balanced squads. We know the coaches well and trust them. He would be the clear best player on his team.

Option B: More talented peer group, will probably win more games/tournaments, traditional A/B roster structure, more of his friends are there, it’s his top choice. Coaching is good but we don’t have familiarity with the staff yet(practice style/game day decision making). He’d be one of many talented kids on the team — not the obviously standout but could be on some days.

The core question I keep coming back to: at 8 years old, is it better for long term development and confidence to be the obvious star, or to be pushed daily by kids who are at or above his level?

I’ve read arguments both ways. The “big fish small pond” effect suggests being the star builds confidence. But I also believe environment shapes ceiling, and being the best player in the room every day might limit how fast he grows.

Has anyone navigated this decision? What did you choose and how did it play out?

U9 Girls competitng in our first Sand Soccer tournament next month. What do you wish you knew before your first time? Anything I need to look out for other than the rules being a little different?

I was involved in sports for many years, but will admit that "travel teams" have long turned me off, for their industrial approach to youth sports, for the parent culture they foster and for the degradation of so many local rec leagues that seemed to do just fine before the development of private clubs.

That said, I have a daughter who blossomed into a fierce athlete very casually in middle school. She's strong, fearless, fast and very tall. Naturally she was asked to become a goalie for her school team and in two years learned to thrive in that role. She gets complimented by opposing coaches and parents often and multiple local high schools have expressed that they hope she chooses them and plays soccer there.

Some of her friends play on a certain club team, and she went to some tryouts. There are kids on that team that aren't nearly as athletic, but she tried for goalie. The coach, someone I know and like, was a goalie and loves to coach goalies. We didn't hear anything, and her friends who tried out at the same time did. He left me a long message full of compliments but stating that he has a goalie already who is the best he's ever seen at that age and it wouldn't be fair to put my daughter on the team to have her do all that practice and just sit the bench. He proposed that she do some training with the team and he can work on her technique (she has never received true goalkeeper coaching).

I like idea of getting her training; not sure I can convince her to show up for a team she can't play on, but it could be a good way to get practice without committing to entire weekends full of driving, hotels and tournaments. I do lament that the ecosystem of youth sports outside of rec leagues that have dwindled to next to nothing from their prime has created a win-at-all costs mentality. Try out for a team, pay the fees, and ride the bench. A part of me is fine with saying no, letting her practice as she chooses (she's quite determined and disciplined when it comes to training) and play in high school where I have no doubt she'll thrive. I do feel like the message nowadays is that if you want to have any chance at soccer (or other sports) beyond high school, you have to pay homage to this system, and I regret that. It also seems that, if you're a goalkeeper, your options are more limited when a team, as here, already has its star keeper they are grooming for future recruitment, etc.

I am wandering here, mostly just venting, but figured someone has similar experiences out there.

Son plays for top end U11 team. Lost a game 4-1. What struck me was how well the other team passed. So I watched the Trace & counted intentional, completed passed. They out-passed us 144-24. I was under the impression that if you can string together 3-4 solid passes at this age, you're doing pretty good.

They didn't even build out of the back, punts and long goal kicks like us. What struck me most was their ability to stay calm and pass out of situations along the sideline whereas our kids just kick the ball out of bounds on purpose, as if that is some sort of win.

How do you teach this? Drills, etc.

Anyone here from the DMV area and have a kid who has or is currently playing with Bethesda SC or SYC. My son has an offer for the top U9 teams at both clubs and I’m just seeking some insight for either club. We love the coaching at both clubs and both clubs seem to have created a good environment for our kid. The clubs are the same distance from home (just opposite directions).

Anything helps, thanks!

Back in my time, we used to just kick the ball off the wall and play in the backyard. Any good options out there today to get my kids training at home?

My current U11 fourth grader currently plays for, and excels, for a mid-tier competitive club team - think “Silver”. Due to the age switch and club politics, his offer for next year is “Bronze”.

His current coach vehemently disagrees with the placement and is trying to get the club to reconsider, but I think it’s unlikely.

Looking for experiences and perspectives on whether we should accept the demotion or just take a year off. If it means anything, his birthday is August so he aged “down”. So this feels like repeating kindergarten just at a lower level…and I’m worried about him becoming disillusioned playing at the lower level.

I have been coaching for 20 years. I've mostly coached high school or middle school age kids and have been coaching my 10 year old and his rec teams for the last several years.

We play 11v11 but will be wading into the murky waters of Club tournaments this fall. What are some 9v9 formations you guys use and what works for others. You're never too old to learn, so teach me. I want the details

I’m a sophomore in south Florida who was accepted to Parkland ECNL, Springs MLS NEXT, and SFFA MLS NEXT for the upcoming season. Money and distance aren’t an issue, where do I go?