I (51M) am in a relationship with a woman (42) who was abused emotionally, psychologically, financially, and sexually. She recently left him after 20 years.
I can't understand her feelings about him. She says she hates him and he continues to harass and berate her but she is willing to be around him when they meet at the park to play with their kids. She will answer the phone when he calls even though she knows he will be mean. She brings him up in casual conversation. Like if I say I love pizza she will say they used to eat pizza all the time. Or that he hated pizza. 3 or 4 times per day. He has been outside our house in the middle of the night and made false allegations to DSS and the police. He told her he would rip me apart and 2 days later she asked if I would be willing to meet him so he can see that their girls will be around a good guy. I've told her how much all of this upsets me and she promises to change it but never does. She says she doesn't even think about it. My mind screams WTF. But there must be a reason why, right? I don't understand why she chooses to let this happen. It's causing problems for me and our relationship and is not healthy for her. Can anyone give me insight on why this happens and/or how I can handle it?