Birthday Coming Up
My partner's brother offered to have a pool party at his house to celebrate my birthday. It isn't a special year and is just one of the 30s. It was a nice offer. But I am really struggling with it. The people I'd be inviting are my partner's friend (I'm new to the area) and have only known me for a year or so. I want to do it because a party sounds fun. But having it be my birthday party feels self-centered.
I know this is tied into going no-contact and my brain is feeding me this line: "my own parents don't like me so why should anyone else". This will be my first birthday since going no contact and my second with not seeing them.
I'm just stuck in the desire to have a fun party and the guilt of having it be all about me. Has anyone else felt this way?