u/GriffinPanic

Praying for any tips / advice on this final. I’m going over the learning objectives, but it’s a lot of information to retain.
Thanks!!

Hey all!
I’m about to write my philosophy 333 final tomorrow. I’m covering all of the study questions (there are so many omg). If you’ve written recently, should I be studying the cases as well?
This class will be the death of me, any helpful notes would be greatly appreciated!

I am almost 6 years sober. My partner is not.
When I quit drinking, it was because I finally realized how much alcohol was damaging my life. I come from a family with alcoholism and trauma, and sobriety changed everything for me.
My partner continued drinking. Over the years, I watched his life slowly unravel. Some of it was bad luck, but a lot of it was connected to alcohol. As of three years ago he started his sober journey. There were attempts at sobriety, AA, antidepressants, promises, relapses, more promises, and increasingly elaborate lies.

The worst part isn’t even the drinking anymore. It’s what it has done to my sense of reality. I’ve told him I can support him through a relapse but not lying. Begged him to just be honest. And he looked me dead in the eye and promised he would.

The lengths he has gone to cover up his lies are insane.
. I watched him suffer thinking his depression and meds were the problem for over a year. Supported him while he was on a mental health leave from work for the last 8 months, and put up with the insane mood swings and gaslighting. Then last week I looked at his bank account and saw he’s been buying a mickey every day (at least) since February. A month after he “got sober” for the third time.
I’m angry at him for the lies, but I’m also angry at myself for believing them. Mostly, though, I’m just sad. I keep thinking about my mother, who struggled with alcoholism and dishonesty from my father in similar ways. I remember how much it hurt to live with that, and now I find myself in the exact same position. That realization is totally breaking my brain today.

We don’t have children. We don’t own property together. Rationally, it seems like I should leave. But I am terrified that if I do, he will spiral, become homeless, or even die.
At the same time, staying feels like it’s destroying me. The stress has cost me emotionally, physically, financially, and mentally. I think something broken in me that I can’t walk away.

He is now allegedly detoxing, back in AA, and asking for another chance. Part of me still sees the good person underneath all of this. Another part of me wonders whether I can even trust my own judgment anymore.
For those who have been here: howb did you know when helping became enabling? How did you let go of feeling responsible for someone else’s survival?