An Ode to My Hero
TW: Suicidal Thoughts
I can't believe I met you,
You invited me out tonight.
Me, oh little old me,
To watch the big fight.
I think back to all those years,
I watched you play Minecraft.
I make my way to where you said,
I dress nice so I don't look daft.
Yes I'm a little early but,
I'm honoured to be here.
I've never entered a casino before,
The food is rather dear.
I wait. I wait.
I wonder where you are.
Some hours pass, the match begins,
I go to check the bar.
I check every possible place you could be,
This place doesn't even have a TV.
The staff ask if I'm okay.
I decide it's time to leave.
Emotions rush into my head,
I feel my judgment cloud.
People are walking by the lake,
Everything feels so loud.
Autism brings me great difficulty,
With emotions and making a friend.
What may seem simple to anyone else,
To me it seems like the end.
My brain is screaming at me,
To give up, to end it.
I've been abandoned,
I'm simply worthless.
I take a seat,
I have a think.
If I kill myself,
What will my family think?
I go home to watch on pay per view.
It ends in a draw, I don't really care.
I just wanted to spend a moment or two,
With my childhood hero, who invited me there.
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This is my first ever poem, outside of English classes like 10+ years ago. It's about something that happened in 2018. Don't worry, I very much want to live, but I was thinking about the situation again and I decided to try poetry to take my mind off of it. Feedback welcome in case I try it again in the future!
Edit: fixed formatting, hopefully (X2)
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