u/Grouchy-Industry5550

Mostly needing advice.

I’m feeing so disheartened with how little protections pregnant women have in the USA.

My husband and I were always on the fence about having kids. He was an RBT working with severely low-functioning autistic children for a year (recently). He was constantly bit, pinched, punched, surrounded by banshee like screams, having to train these kids out of iPad usage, etc… And I feel so guilty saying this but it really traumatized us. We convinced ourselves we didn’t want kids because we didn’t want to take the risk of having a severely autistic child. We were sad for them.

So fast forward, I am 24 years old now (he is 27) and I had a freak ovarian torsion accident where I ended up losing my left ovary. Which made us revisit the topic of having kids. At first we agreed to just freeze some of my eggs, and then start trying once I’m finished with nurse practitioner school (I start next year, online). But after looking into the process and cost, I don’t think it’s an option for us.
So we decided we should just try now instead of potentially waiting too long and it being too late. We have several family members that thought they didn’t want kids, and then didn’t start trying until later in life and ultimately could not.

I am way too much of a planner, and this last year has left me so medically anxious after the ovarian torsion (long story short, I was dismissed 3 times because the radiologist read my CT scan wrong so they missed torsion). So here are the biggest thoughts swarming through my head:

-I want to do everything in my power to give our future baby the best chance at a healthy life. Including cognitively.
-I have really good free health insurance (Medicaid) until I am 26 (roughly 1 year away) from being a foster child. This would be the best insurance to have our baby on so that is another reason to do it now.
-My entire first year of school is online without clinicals, so now would be good timing.

My concerns:

-I work part time for a very small doctors office. I have 0 benefits. When I take maternity leave, it will be entirely unpaid. I will have to find a new job after. I am the only nurse on staff here and they can’t afford to be without a nurse for 8-12 weeks while I’m on leave.
-I so badly want to start trying next month because I’m worried we might have a hard time conceiving because of my one ovary and my hormones. And I want to have the baby while we are more protected by my current insurance.
-I am scared of trying too soon because I’ll only have been on a prenatal for 1 month if we successfully conceive on our first try. Is one month of prenatals too soon? I know they recommend 1-3, but prefer 3….

-We are starting to save in preparation, to pay for my maternity leave and have a cushion for when (if) the baby comes. But I just can’t imagine what will happen to us if I require a longer leave or if there are complications that reduce my work.

My husband works really hard, but because I have a degree I’m more of the bread winner. He is starting electrician school soon, but the starting pay isn’t enough to support our bills by himself.

TLDR; I guess I’m looking for encouragement on how I’m supposed to survive with unpaid maternity leave (I know sooo many women do) and on if taking prenatals for only 1 month is too soon to start trying.

My insurance ends August 2026, when I turn 26. I will get on my husband’s after but with my current insurance I have the best benefits for me and baby.
I don’t even know if we might have a hard time conceiving.
Our biggest goal is baby health.