u/Grouchy_Landscape_9

I’ve been bitten by cats, trapped in garages, and once had to jump out of a quite high window.
I’ve sold hundreds of properties across the Midlands, as well as castles in Suffolk, mansions in Essex and barns in the middle of absolutely nowhere.

After 12 years, I have accumulated a frankly ridiculous number of stories.

Want to know what estate agents really think?
Want brutally honest buying/selling advice?
Want to know the weirdest thing I’ve found in a house?

Ask me anything. I’ve probably got a story for it! 🏡

My daughter’s biological father left when she was 5 months old. It was messy and there was police involvement. I ended up getting a non molestation order against him which lasted a year and it worked. I didn’t hear from him ever again after seeing him in court. I met my current fiance when my daughter was 9 months old, and she knows him as her dad. 🥳 and she will do until she’s old enough for us to have a conversation about it.

Fast forward 5 years and we have a beautiful home, we’ve had 2 more gorgeous children and we’re engaged. Life really did a 180 in our favour! One thing keeping us tied to the old life is our daughter’s surname. Her biological father is on the birth certificate. She doesn’t know this name, if you ask her name she will say the “new” surname. Now she is at school, the forbidden surname is appearing everywhere. Every email, every form. I’ve asked the school twice to change it to her “new” surname, and after explaining the situation several times they have finally agreed to do so from September.

Whilst we’re going through the lengthy adoption process, we wanted to get her surname changed legally ASAP. But I’m a bit stuck on how to approach this. By law, her biological father’s consent is required. If I can’t get his consent, I’m to show that I’ve made reasonable steps to try and get it. But I don’t want to contact him directly or indirectly! I’m 50/50 on whether it’ll start a fire, with him suddenly wanting back in. He’s done it before with his other children with exes and I know what he’s like - he still tells people he’s a doting dad when he hasn’t seen any of his children for over 5 years, he’d probably want to look like he’s putting up a fight if that makes sense. He’d be defensive and angry about her losing his name. And we just don’t need it.

I’ve seen a form I can fill out if I can’t contact him, but it says I’ll need a meeting? C100? I can contact him, I just don’t want to because it’ll open up a can of worms. I’m happy to have meetings and fill out forms and if I really have to make contact with him then I will. Anything to get my daughter her proper name, the same as her brothers, her dad, and soon to be me.

Thanks if you made it this far, any advice appreciate.

TLDR - want to change child’s surname to be same as other children and their dad. Had non mol against birth father and don’t want to contact him for his required consent. What else can I do/who do I talk to?