arrange marriage and its confusing should I Say no or meet the guy again?
Need some outside perspective on an arranged marriage situation.
I met a guy once through an arranged marriage setup. He seems like a genuinely nice person introverted, respectful and polite. After our meeting, he told me it was a yes from his side.
The problem is that I'm struggling to figure out whether my hesitation is due to a genuine compatibility issue or if I'm overthinking.
During the meeting and our chat afterward, I felt like I was carrying most of the conversation. I'm quite talkative, playful, and I enjoy people who engage ask questions and keep a conversation flowing. I don't need an extrovert but I do want someone who can meet me halfway socially.
With him, I wasn't sure if he was simply shy/nervous or if that's just his personality. For example, he could barely maintain eye contact during the meeting, and later when I asked him about it over text, he said he's shy.
I also couldn't get a good read on how passionate or ambitious he is about his career, although I know one meeting isn't enough to judge someone. To be fair, he probably couldn't fully judge me either.
One thing that bothered me was when I asked what he wanted in a wife, and he said something along the lines of "jo meri ban kar rahe." A lot of people might find that romantic or sweet, but my reaction was discomfort rather than warmth.
For context, I was in a toxic relationship for 6 years that involved controlling and possessive behavior. Because of that, comments that sound even slightly possessive tend to put me on guard, so it's possible that phrase hit a nerve more than it would have otherwise.
At the same time, I don't want to reject a decent person based on one meeting or because I'm projecting past experiences onto him.
What's confusing me is that I feel like I'm forcing myself to consider a second meeting mainly so I won't regret saying no later. I'm not excited, but I also don't know if it's fair to make a decision after just one meeting.
Has anyone been in a similar situation? Would you go on a second meeting, or does it sound like my instincts are already trying to tell me something?