u/GroundObvious7757

Guys I know we all have exams coming up very soon, but it just hit me that this is our last full week of school! It really is over. We all spent so much time stressing this year over our grades, ecs, uni applications and everything, I wish we had taken a moment to stop and appreciate the present. I can’t believe those nights I spent so stressed are now nights I wish I could relive again.
Very soon, we won’t be setting foot in current high schools anymore. We won’t set foot in our high schools to go to classes casually, see that teacher we hate, or hang out with our friends!
When grade 12 started I thought the year would be so long and slow, and now it’s over, we are off to start a new chapter in our life. I can’t believe this door is finally closing…

I know a lot of people clown on mommy asmr across social media, and I thought it was something cringe too at first. But once I started to listen to them, it made me feel so much less alone. It feels like for once someone really cares about me, even though it's all fake. There are so many audios surrounded around the listener being depressed and they say so many heartfelt words that I desire to hear from someone in real life one day.

One of the asmr lines I've felt so empty from is 'I'll be your anchor when you're drowning'. It's a simple metaphor, but it broke me, because it felt like someone really noticed me, like someone saw my pain. Although these audios are helpful, it also reminds me how alone I am, that I have to resort to this. It reminds how I am sentenced to a life of loneliness, and I'll never have my own person to tell me such caring words. It reminds me how I'll never feel the warmth of another person, I'll never have anyone's love, I'll never be cherished by anyone. It reminds me how when I grow up and I come home from my job, there will be nobody waiting for me at home, excited to see. It reminds me how every night going forth I'll lay alone my bed wishing I had someone to hold on to so tightly.

It's my dream to be cared by someone so deeply, for them to see my pain so clearly, and stick by my side. But as time go on, I'm starting to think love is only a fantasy. It's something so out of my reach, and the closest thing I'll ever get to it is listening to these audios.

I really wish my life had been different. I wish it wasn't so brutal.

Hey guys, this is more directed towards UofT students. For a number of us, we’re commuting to UofT but is anyone getting FOMO for not dorming?
I’m going into engineering and I’m getting FOMO that I won’t be apart of the chestnut residence, being constantly surrounded by fellow engineering students, sharing the pain after classes are over. I know that you can make friends as a commuter too but forced proximity makes friends so much quicker!!!

Hi, was wondering how easy it is to transfer between chem and mech eng? Is mech crazy competitive with very limited spots like ECE for transfers? I know getting a guaranteed transfer is VERY difficult since you need a 80%+ avg, so I’m looked more towards the waitlist transfers.

So my best offer right now for engineering is chem eng at uoft. In contrast, I got rejected by mac hsc, so I would alternately go into mac lifesci. However I cannot decide what to do.

Medicine seems fulfilling for me, and I love the idea of making direct impact everyday you work. Last year I had read a book about FGM and that is what grew my passion for medicine, specifically for the OBGYN profession. When I see videos and shows of the medicine life I always think ‘yea, I wanna do that’.
However, going into medicine is not all rainbows and sunshine. Neither of my parents are doctors, so I would not have connections like others do. Additionally, by going into lifesci there’s a higher chance I receive a low gpa, and I might not receive research positions like the hsc do. There’s a high chance I will get rejected by med school after undergrad, and if I do I won’t be able to get a job with a lifesci degree alone. There are many uncertainties, risks, and sacrifices going into med. My parents also aren’t wealthy, so it will be hard for them to support me financially if I go to mac for an undergrad, and then eventually into med school after, especially if it’s far from home.

Now turning towards engineering, I acknowledge that uoft eng is an amazing offer, but I also have no instinct in me to be an engineer. As a matter of fact, I chose chem engineering out of randomness, I don’t even know what one does. And I dislike the idea of being white collared, being in scrubs seems way cooler. And it goes out without a saying, doing an engineering degree is extremely difficult, ESPECIALLY at uoftears. I’m not saying I’m gonna quit after second year, I definitely think I have the resilience in me to survive, just not thrive. The degree will offer stability, especially with the PEY I can take that offers a salary. I’ll also be commuting so I’ll be saving money. Fortunately chemical engineers are called universal engineers since they have their foot in many industries, so there’s a chance I might find my niche within the engineering sphere industry. But then again, I have no calling for engineering like I do for medicine.

Before anyone says it, doing an engineering undergrad for premed, especially at uoftears, is not a choice. I’d be signing away the possibility of medicine because my gpa would be too low. I am also aware that there are many who do not do mac hsc and still get into medicine school, however I am not confident that I will be one of those people.

Everyone says to follow your dreams, but should I follow them off a cliff?

If anyone has gone through the same thing, let me know how it went please :,)!