Story time!! (help me feel less embarrassed😅)
Hello everyone, this might be my very first post I’m making in this group but you all are about to get to know me QUICK.
For background- I’ve been diagnosed with IBS for around 3.5 years and to be honest i haven’t really gotten to see the light at the end of the tunnel but i’m still working hard at getting better
Me and my wife are dog/house sitting for my in laws family-friends while they are gone and they live at the mouth of a canyon that’s around 10 minutes from where my wife’s parents live. These dogs are two big hunting golden retrievers and are impossible to take both on a walk by my self (140 pounds). My in laws reached out and offered to come take the dogs on a walk and i said sure since my wife was gone all day at work. I wasn’t originally going to go on the walk but I didn’t want to make them do my work for me so I went. But before we left, they brought over some subs and we ate for dinner. I wanted to test myself and my bathroom habits about leaving the house so i just left on the walk.
fast forward to around halfway in to the walk, my stomach starts to move and all the sudden i have to fart a lot. I start to pick up the pace a little and my stomach contents are knocking at the door and the urge is only getting worse. Since the dog was pulling me, i just decided to start running to try and get home faster. bad idea. that made the urge way worse and I stopped and realized that i was genuinely not going to make it home and i either was gonna soil my pants or go on the side of the road. i was probably 80 yards in front of my in laws and off to the side of the road covered by bushes and trees and if you’ve ever seen the reels of homeless people/randos just pull their pants down outside or in a store and just poop and pull their pants back up in the span of 2 seconds- that’s exactly what i had to do. this is on the side of a busy canyon road mind you. Luckily there were no cars going either way, no cameras, nobody saw me. That got rid of the immediate urge and i was able to make it back to the house and clean the underwear i was wearing (of course it was white).
Anyways, i visited the location after the in laws left and there is no way they saw it, so I feel good about that. I’ve just been in disbelief of myself since but i’m just trying to laugh it off😭 can’t decide if this was good exposure therapy or what but i hope to never have that experience again and I don’t want it to influence my anxiety or anything.
ps don’t tell my wife, I will never tell her