Has anybody ever been discarded and then try to move on and date other people? I guess it’s partially my fault for trying to move on so quick, but I may have ruined a chance with a really cool girl because I guess I’m still going through the withdrawals of losing my pwBPD so I felt like I was giving only half of myself to this new person. This fucking sucks man. I wish I never met them. I just want myself back
Let them go you’ll be happier for it. Stop wasting your life living in limerence. Be single for awhile and get your nervous system back if you have to. If you have someone else that is interested in you, give them a shot trust me. Life could be so fun and light and rewarding! I think we forgot how easygoing life is supposed to be. Good weeks aren’t supposed to end in break ups. Love isn’t supposed to be met with discard and cheating. Seriously, stop hanging on to them LET THEM GO and live LIFE again! You need to drop them and thought of them coming back into your life! You need to make room for someone else that won’t leave you feeling drained and empty week after week! Learn to live LIFE again because let’s be frank here you are NOT LIVING being hung up on someone who is literally incapable of giving you LOVE! Literally let. Them. Go. And let time heal you
My ex has all the symptoms of quiet BPD. The lovebombing, future faking, controlling toxic ex, jealousy, isolation, etc etc. But she never hit me, broke anything, or anything extreme like the stories I read in here. That’s why I think she is the quiet type because she internalizes her rage instead of externally. We dated for less than a year and she broke up with me a week ago. I told her if she leaves me again to don’t come back. We’ve been in no contact since.
But my question is for those in long term relationships with them, did they start off like this too and their rage and actions got exponentially worse? I know that I will be much happier and healthier in the long term not looking back, but I still feel their presence and it’s oddly comforting. Or maybe it’s in my head because they’ve came back around after the first break up. I do wish we could just be friends but I’m not sure with their extreme emotions if that’s even a possibility, it’s either all or nothing with them.
I am enjoying my freedom and being a sovereign person but at the same time I miss their company and them. Maybe I just need more time to heal.
They broke up with me the second time and this time feels more final because I think they have a gut feeling I’m starting to catch on to their manipulation and abuse, and I keep telling them about my needs in a relationship and that it’s not available with them and I’m going to find it in someone else. Which I have been and she’s super sweet, kind and patient. (Yes I know jumping right into someone is unhealthy and unfair to the other individual and I’ve told them that I’m still dealing with my ex and they are super understanding).. But spending so much of my time, energy, and attention with them for 3/4 of a year, after they made me feel like I finally found love after years of praying for exactly what they gave me, Id be lying if I said a part of me didn’t want them back. Even though I know that the person I fell in love with was all a facade to get me emotionally attached so they could walk all over me. I’ve spent this whole week endlessly consuming avoidant and narcissistic behaviors and honestly I feel down and depressed. I think I’ve learned enough about this behavior and I just want to get back to my life, my vitality, my presence and peace. Day by day I’m picking myself back up. Getting better sleep. Putting more reps in the gym. Enjoying shows, gaming, movies again. Being more available and present with friends and surrounding myself around people who actually treat me human. I know it won’t happen over night but I’ve been through a break up before and I always come out on the other end better than ever. I saw the signs but I was addicted like a druggie and neglected myself for those fleeting moments of the highs, just to crash down again and again. I’m done neglecting my well-being. I’m choosing love. I’m choosing life. I have fleeting moments of presence like IM FREE WOOO, but I can’t say I don’t think about them and secretly hope they hoover back around. I dont have immediate family around me. My mom is basically nonexistent in my life and my father was an alcoholic and passed a few years ago and that’s why I put up with them for so long because at least they were always there even though they really weren’t. It felt nice knowing someone was always there even though they treated me like shit. Choosing them means shrinking myself, my light, my life, and the people around me. I’m choosing love light and happiness. Praying for all of you who are on the same road as me and for those who have experienced far worse. Time heals all remember that. I love you all
I came back for seconds. All the posts that say the second time is worse is so real. The first time was explosive, the second time is much more silent and eerie. And the loneliness hits in a more sinister way. If you’ve left the first time, do your heart a favor and don’t take them back. They sink their claws in you even deeper the second time around and drop you even quicker. I literally can’t enjoy anything without them (or the lack of them) in the back of my mind. I can’t even go through an episode on Netflix without pausing and visiting this subreddit. If you’re reading this and in no contact, do yourself and them a favor and block them. Life is too short to waste another second with them
7 months in. We talk on the phone every single day. I stopped visiting her at her job and she has since stopped asking me to visit. We rarely ever hang out in person outside of spontaneous lunch dates when I can get away from work. She has started to go out to the clubs with her girlfriends every weekend and I do not hear from her for the rest of the day and night unless she drunkenly calls me and comes over to hook up at 2am. It’s starting to feel like she only needs me for company via FaceTime and when she’s drunk and craves affection. Is this all that there is for the remainder of this relationship? She doesn’t involve me in ANY of her plans, trips, etc. I’m just a “romantic” extension of her life but not actually in her life. On her days off she’s with her “girls” the whole day or at home gaming the whole day away
So I’ve read many posts in here and while I have experienced many of the same stuff everyone else has, I’ve never experienced them lash out at me with very hurtful insults, physical altercations, them breaking things etc. of course they split on me all the time and have ended the relationship once but I have never experienced any of the harmful extremes that are discussed in here. For context we have been dating for 7 months.
Been dating for 7 months (with the obligatory 2-3 week break up in between) and I never met her mom even though she knew about me and has repeatedly asked my pwBPD that she wants to meet me. As far as I know, her mom doesn’t even know that we’re still together. How long did it take to meet their parents? Did they ever introduce you to their parents? Will I ever meet her parents? Am I a fool? 😂
I only have weekends off and she works late nights. On weekends where I can align with her schedule, she doesn’t care to see and hang with me, but can go out to the clubs with her friend. After telling me she’s going out tonight I told her I gotta go and hung up the phone. Should I finally just grieve this relationship and close the door? If I wanted a phone relationship I would do long distance lol
My birthday just passed and she just sent me an extremely bland birthday text in the middle of the night (she works late) like “oh btw happy birthday.” When we got time to catch up and call or text, she didn’t ask a single thing about my bday. How it was, what I did etc…. She has been in that discard phase the past couple weeks where every text response is like 1-2 words and dry as hell. But on my birthday to act the same way…. This mental illness is really something else. Am I alone in this experience?
Every time things feel healthy, and intimate, she goes cold and pulls away. And I call her out on it every time and then the discussion of if I want to leave her, then leave, which I respond calmly “ok.” She then pulls me back and says she cares blah blah blah, but of course I’m still unhappy, which then causes me to pull away. And then the cycle starts again. I hate that they become like a drug that you can’t fully kick. I know her behavior will never change. I know this relationship will never reach the full potential of a fulfilling and loving relationship, but something keeps pulling us back to one another. This time, the distance and silence is loud. Like she knows I’m actually fed up and probably won’t last much longer. And I’m willing to bet she’ll reach out and want to call and act like everything is completely normal.
Despite her treating me like crap to be frank, she has been with me for more than half a year which is the longest I’ve been able to keep a girl around for some years now and although the lows are low, the highs are high and it’s nice knowing that she’s always still there for me no matter how much we argue and butt heads. Any other girl would have cut me off completely a long time ago. It’s a weekly occurrence where i feel neglected. It’s a weekly thing where i complain to my friends about her, what little friends i have left. It’s a weekly thing where i find myself saying i hate her. But yet, she is always there for me( for the most part) im not sure how long we’re going to last. I’ve tried leaving her in my past multiple times but haven’t been successful. If you’ve read this far thanks for reading. Im not sure what im asking for because i know the answer i’ll get in here. Wishing you all the best on your journey.
At this point I’m putting way too much energy into this person. Been “dating” for 6 months now with one short lived break up in between. How come they never want you around at events or anything with them? They just want to be with their friends. And if I do go to something with them, they are weird and standoffish and tells me she just wants to be with her friends. Am I the only one that experiences this? Now that I think about it, i have never enjoyed an event in public with them.