u/Groundbreaking_Pie87

We have a long and storied history that has no definitive fight or disagreement in it. We were best friends for quite a while and dated first year in highschool. I felt extremely insecure and broke up with her. After a year apart we got back together for the last two years of highschool. I felt our relationship had slowed to a crawl, we were never intimate and hadn’t even approached it. I felt I wasn’t around her enough and didn’t feel adequately loved. I wasn’t sure whether this was her fault or once again my own insecurity so, afraid I’d hurt her or even lose her as a friend I broke up with her on what seemed to be relatively good terms. Once again, I hadn’t talked to her for a year, but now in my second year of college we have begun hanging out again after we had a conversation partially going over our breakup. I asked her if she’d ever thought about getting back together and she said she would if I wanted to. Here I am now and I feel so crushingly lonely, I can’t stop thinking about her. She’s always been kind to me but hasn’t always been someone I can talk to about challenging things. That being said I’ve never loved someone like I did her, and the thought of me getting back together and possibly hurting her by breaking up again is terrifying to me. I thought I was over this a year ago but now it is all back. Maybe I should cut her off entirely? I’m just so lost.