Long time no see, but now here is a message to drop!
I have posted my entry 11 days ago, here it is if anyone else is concerned [https://www.reddit.com/r/NoFap/comments/1tk9a9c/longtime_lurker_30m_finally_starting_my_reboot/]
And regarding the matter I have discovered the main thought, literally the epitome why I have even started to stroke the subway train between my legs. That's the grief for my father whom I have lost exactly the year when I have started masturbating and performing other grief deeds. But let's keep it up to the theme!
I have decided that when the urges will arise I will write the next letters or just sentences to him through all the sweat and illusions that might come up, but they barely appear now after the clarification process has begun. Today, although I have stroked, I have nevertheless written the first letter while putting a time date. It was not vast, but it was meaningful.
If we will shorten the letter, I have said that I want to remember him the way I feel the best now by performing the remembrances in a more healthy way by at least starting writing that diary at first. The second thought to put was that I want to become a well-tempered person while performing the deed just as he was during his lifetime. Also I have said that his memory stands for a bigger value than I used to feel earlier and I will restructure my current needs. I do not know if it matters as I feel it, but I want to brighten up my finishing sentence of the entry:
The value of your memory stands for a lot bigger!
Peace!