Mom told me she didn’t care to be there for the birth of my child.
Let me give you a little backstory. I was my mother’s first child. She had me at 18, married my dad a year later, then after getting tired of my dad’s drug addiction divorced him. I think she was a good mom up until I turned 7 or so then my world completely crumbled. She met her third husband (my brothers’ dad) who was a complete narcissist and it was like me living was just a nuisance to them. I could go on, but I’ll keep it short. She had my brothers(twins) when I was 9 and I basically raised them. Her and their dad divorced when I was 12 and it was just us four, plus a revolving door of men. She did pass my brothers and I off to my grandparents on both sides quite a lot. My mother’s parents are very religious and she never liked that. However, now she is turning out just like that. She wouldn’t go to church, but would force my brothers and I to go with our grand parents and we have a lot of religious trauma from it. She very much put us through everything she hated growing up and said “well it happened to me, and I turned out okay.” No you didn’t. Back to the many boyfriends and husbands. Every big event in my life has had to revolve around who she is with at the time. My mom can’t just date someone, she becomes them. With my first daughter’s baby shower, her boyfriend came down to visit, so that’s all she was concerned about. She didn’t help me decorate, clean, cook, nothing. It was about the boyfriend visiting. Then a week after my daughter was born I was still in the hospital because of some complications and my mom left to visit this boyfriend. Instead of going home with my husband and baby and adjusting to life, I had to go to her house and help my brothers to their first day of high school and take care of all of that. Same thing with my second child, it was about whoever she was dating. When my third child was born the hospital was very strict because it was during flu season and Covid cases were rising, so only a couple of people could visit at a time. I wasn’t able to put her boyfriend on the list, because I was only allowed to have the same four visitors my entire stay. So she left him in the lobby and only stayed a few minutes because she didn’t want to leave him down there for long. Every major event, birthday, celebration, anything has always been about a man and I’m so sick of it. Well I’m having my fourth and final baby in a couple of months. I asked my mom to come stay at my house with my other children while I was at the hospital, because it will just be what’s easiest for us. She lives close by so she could run to her house if she needed anything or spend most the time there, but all of my kids things would be here so it would just keep them in a routine. I asked because everyone else’s mom does things like this so I figured why not. She said no, that she wasn’t doing that, they could come stay with her. So I’m having to find someone else who can stay with them. I also was thinking of letting her be in the room when the baby was born, and having my grandma watch the other kids while I was in labor so that my mom could be there. Now she’s decided to go on a mission trip like two weeks before my due date, which is on the other side of the country. She asked me to go to her house and spend time with her cat while she was gone so that he doesn’t get lonely, yet she won’t stay with my kids while I’m in the hospital. I said well that’s really close to my due date what if you miss it? She said, “I don’t care if you’re having 7 kids, if God calls me to do something I’m doing it.” That literally broke my heart. I’m your only daughter and you just said you didn’t care about being there for my child’s birth, my last child at that. I just don’t even want to talk to her anymore. I don’t even want to tell her I’m going into labor. I’m so done. I’m so tired of begging my parents to show up for me.