u/GuestPsychological83

I’m in a relationship with this cycle: calm → jealousy (focused on my past) → blowup → apology → calm → repeat.

Latest blowup happened this evening and completely blindsided me. It was about me not validating him the way he thinks I validated my exes. This isn't true and no amount of reassurance changes his mind. This happens every week and I'm starting to emotionally fall apart.

Full transparency- I came into this with my own trauma from past emotional abuse, we have similar attachment patterns. But inspite of reassuring him, the jealousy about my past keeps escalating.

I need outside perspective: what actually works for this kind of fixation on my past, or will this continue without change?