First ever gig was a disaster. How do I bounce back and lead from the throne?
Hi everyone,
I’ve been playing for about 3 years, and last night I finally had my first small live show with my band (we've been together for 1.5 years). It was a complete mess, honestly, it felt like everything that could go wrong, did. I’m looking for some perspective and advice on how to handle the situation.
It was a jam-style event with over 150 people in the audience. No soundcheck. I had to play on a tiny house kit that was crammed into a corner, I literally had my left elbow hitting the wall every time I tried to play 16th notes on the hats. The stool wasn't adjustable (just a fixed metal tripod), there was only one cheap crash on the left, and no monitors for me.
We played a couple of rock covers. On stage, I could only hear the guitar. I couldn't hear the vocals at all. Listening back to the recording, the guitar was out of tune and the singer was consistently flat/out of scale in the chorus and my friends in the audience told me the performance lacked pocket. I feel like I stayed on time and didn't miss my fills, except for the fact that I couldn't open up the choruses on the songs as the ride wasn't crashable, and I struggled to lead the band because I’m a guitarist of 15 years turned drummer, and I still have the habit of following the melody rather than driving the bus.
So when our set ended the sound guy told us we looked like beginners and the stage was "too big for us". Our bassist is being very harsh about our mistakes and the singer doesn't seem to realize she was off-key in some moments, even after I mentioned it.
My questions for you guys: how do you deal with a stage setup where you physically can't move? Do you just move the kit anyway? How do you force yourself to "lead" and be the metronome when the rest of the band is out of tune or drifting? How do I talk to my singer about her pitch without sounding like a jerk?
I'm feeling pretty down about it, even though I noticed a few people were actually dancing in the crowd. Any advice or "first gig disaster" stories to make me feel better?
EDIT: Thank you all so much. I’ve realized that we were definitely underprepared for the "chaos" of gigging. I made the classic rookie mistake of trusting the house gear and not bringing my own throne and cymbals—never again!
I also take full responsibility for not being assertive enough with the stage setup. I’ll make sure to communicate better with the sound crew next time and actually move the kit if I’m hitting a wall. Regarding the band, I’m going to suggest recording our rehearsals so we can all hear the pitch issues objectively without it becoming a blame game.
Thanks for the reality check, you guys are legends