New Here But Need to Make Changes ASAP
Hello! I'm new here and getting started on my journey. My husband and I both quit drinking December of 2023 after years of abusing alcohol. This caused me to lose 35lbs and by early the next year I was pregnant after years of not being able to and a loss earlier in our relationship. Unfortunately, that ended in a loss as well. Over the next two years we went on to have 4 more losses. It was devastating to us. During that time my stepdaughter also came to live with us permanently and a lot of changes happened with that. Now, my husband is asking me for a divorce. Over that time period I was moving money without his knowledge from our savings account to my checking to compensate for bills, shopping and food. Some months, I moved a great deal and some months I was able to put it back when I got paid but I never made up the difference. I recently had to tell him about this as we were making changes to our accounts and understandably he was devastated that not only did I take the money, I was lying to him this whole time. I feel like it is so much of a blur what was going on when I was shopping and taking money. Almost like a blank in my memory. I can't explain what I was thinking or feeling but I know that I THOUGHT I was being strong and dealing with everything well. I was not. I do not want to end my marriage. I love my husband with all my heart and I didn't mean to hurt him. It's hard to say that I just can't explain why I was doing this. I also have ADHD so that doesn't help with the organizing of my thoughts. I don't even know if I SHOULD be asking him for another chance as maybe I'm just not a good person to be married to. I love my stepdaughter and I have promised her I will never give up on her. I'm just not sure how to make this right. I gave him access to all my bank accounts and credit cards and closed my shopping apps. I just need some encouragement on where to go from here or if there is anywhere to go from here.