r/shoppingaddiction

I almost just bought a small bundle of nice examples of my main collectable. I happened on the listing only a few minutes after it was posted and they were priced to sell, so I would've been able to grab a total bargain. I'm usually late and miss all the good stuff, it's in a community that's mostly chat so not simple to totally avoid like with shopping apps.

In the past when I've backed away from buying I've felt horrible regret and been unable to stop thinking about how much happier I would've been with my new preciouses. But recently I've made an effort to actually celebrate that I managed to step away so I'm now mentally patting myself on the back for making progress with my addiction and not buying for once 😅

I did it! I didn't /need/ them, just wanted them, and now someone else who probably doesn't have an extensive collection like mine can enjoy the pretties. I'll regret it at some point but since I've been thinking of no-buys as wins, regret is no longer the primary emotion. I'm proud of myself! Over £20 saved lol

Has anyone else managed to back away from the purchase button recently? Want me to celebrate with you?

I’d like to start out by not buying anything but food and necessities for two weeks and then stretch it out to a month.

What are your best tips for doing this? I just bought a blazer and skirt even though I work from home. Ugh.

Have you ever bought something online because it looked absolutely beautiful in the pictures, only to feel disappointed when it finally arrived?

I recently bought a dress that looked flowy and dreamy in the product photos. I imagined it falling perfectly, just like it did on the model. But when I tried it on, the dress looked rather flat. It was still beautiful, but where was the flow I had fallen in love with?

And it got me thinking. Are we buying things we genuinely like, or are we buying the aesthetic we see online?

Pinterest-worthy styles, perfectly styled outfits, dreamy room decor, and picture-perfect accessories have become a huge part of our shopping experience. We scroll, save, imagine, and eventually buy, hoping to recreate that same feeling in our own lives.

But sometimes, the product isn't the problem. It's the expectation we've built around it.

Online shopping makes everything look a little more magical than it might be in reality. Are we actually getting what we pay for, or are we paying for an expectation that was never real in the first place?

Have you ever bought something online that looked amazing in pictures but disappointed you in real life? I'd love to hear your stories.

So, I used to have really bad shopping addiction. But I did recover as much as I could. Meaning, I don't overspend ridiculous amounts of money but the urge to "binge buy" (as I call it) is something I will always have to deal with.

I've been doing pretty good this year, however I feel guilty whenever I buy small things. For example, yesterday I bougth a book for 10 euros - instant guilt. Today, I went to Starbucks and got a pumpkin spice latte, instant guilty. As silly as it sounds, I couldn't enjoy my overpriced coffee because I felt guilty.

Financially, rigth now i am in a good place. Meaning, I have money for gas, groceries, bills and a budget to spend on other things. Which, i realize how blessed i am because a lot of people struggle with this especially with inflation.

The first time I felt guilty for spending money, was when I was 14. I spent all summer saving money for a Tory Burch bag and when I finally bougth it, I felt guilty because I kept thinking "this money is someone's salary for the whole month and you just dropped it on a bag". Then, I would buy thinks from Sephora like a lip gloss​ and blush and think "your Sephora haul could've bougth groceries for one week". Mind you, that was back in 2014-2016, when the prices weren't that crazy and I was a teen with savings.

Tonight my slippers finally kicked the bucket. So I went into my closet to get a replacement pair. While I was there, I started organizing my shoes. I have way more than I thought I did. 😳 Earlier this year, I had bought some Sketches sandals to replace my other ones. My other ones had dozens of little holes on the bottom from puncture vine, from when I lived in New Mexico. (If you’ve ever lived in or been to the southwest, you know). When I was organizing my shoes, I found a brand new pair of Sketchers sandals. I didn’t need to buy the ones earlier this year. So I am swearing off on buying any more shoes. I don’t need them! I need to do better.

After another frustrating week of "Where did my paycheck go?" I decided on a whim last night to finally do a "no buy" month for October.

It's illuminating to me how many things I have *already* been tempted to buy and it's not even NOON of the first day yet. Today is payday and I would normally just be waiting for my check to hit so I could go ahead and buy the things I have in mind, stopping before work to grab a drink somewhere.

Long story short, I was a stay-at-home mom for a long time with no spending money. We couldn't afford daycare with the money I made, so it just made more sense for me to stay home. I started working again when my youngest went to kindergarten, but was only making enough to barely cover the bills and gas to drive to work in another city. I started another job in 2024 and started making literally double what I was previously. I swore up and down that I would keep living the way I had been and save/invest all that extra money. You probably know what happened next!

Lifestyle creep got me like a mf. I had never been able to buy "nicer" things that weren't just the cheapest option - shampoos, body products, perfume, clothes, home decor, shoes, even things like extras at the grocery store. Concert tickets. Weekend trips. Gifts. Things for my kids, who just get more expensive as they get older. Using Affirm or Klarna to buy things because then the payments don't seem like a big deal.

While I make more money than I used to, we are not rolling in the dough over here. (I have been making 45k gross since 2024. I just got a 5k raise which will start this week. We live in a rural relatively LCOL area.) I grew up in a higher income household than the one I am the adult in now and it has been a struggle learning that money does not, in fact, grow on trees.

The worst part is I genuinely *hate* this new job, but I have backed myself into a corner. I've straight-up had to be medicated for anxiety and depression since I started. I don't have the savings or cushion to leave or quit while I look for something else.

I feel like I have quite literally nothing to show for the last several years of work at a job I hate. I don't want to keep feeling this way, so something has to change.

Anyway, here are some of the things that have tempted me so far:

-Aardvark book subscription (I already have Book of the Month, I can check out books at the library for free or use Libby, I have a ton of books that I've already bought and haven't read yet).

-Instant Hydration packets - Part of my "no buy" is only eating/drinking things from home. There's a local drink shop where I can easily spend $9-20 a day depending on what I get. I was trying to justify these packets as a replacement, but that's silly. I can buy drink packets when I get groceries for way cheaper.

Here are my rules for the No Buy. I know this is just how some people normally live, but I promise it's a big change for me.

-Only eating/drinking things from home. This is huge for me. So many nights I come home and just don't want to make dinner, so we order pizza or I give the kids money to go get Taco Bell or whatever. I swing through and get coffees or other "fun drinks" all the time. They feel like the only things that pull me through my misery during the work week.

-No books or clothes at all. I have enough.

-Only buying replacements if I run out of something - shampoo, conditioner, hygiene, etc.

-No random impulse purchases from Amazon, anything from ads on Instagram, TikTok, etc. (By the way, I realized literally every video I tried to watch on TT last night was an ad.)

-My birthday is the 14th. If I get birthday money, save it until November or put it toward a payment of some kind. If my husband wants to give me a gift, I have two things in mind I'd like that I can ask for from him.

-I think that's all? I will still be buying my kid's Halloween costumes, giving them money to go do things they have planned. I also haven't mentioned doing this to my husband because I don't want him to feel like he has to cut anything out - this is just about myself. I'm going to see how much money I can have saved up by the end of the month and just make it a fun little challenge with myself and you guys.

I'm thankful to hear anyone's experiences or advice if you've done something similar!

I feel like i am developing a shopping addiction due to me always looking through different brand catalogues. It's not just one or two pages of browsing, its going to the 'shop all' tab and going through 10s to 100s of pages of items to 'hunt' for the right product. I do this on both cheap and expensive websites. And if at the end of it i don't have something to put on my wish list at least, there is disappointment like it was a waste of time. I don't always end up buying the item if i do find something i like. Usually i'd like to keep it in the basket for a couple days to make sure i really do like it as i am poor and usually spending too much gets concerning for my day to day living (i do have a job and i'm a full time student funding my life independently). If it is a couple 100s I try to make it a goal to save up for it to eventually buy it in a couple months.

At this point i cant tell if it is just a very specific hobby where i need to know everything that is actually available before spending my money. I've always went down on investigative rabbit holes, like watching every single video on a channel, or listening to every single song an artist has put out even if i dont like some of it, and then reading everything available on the wiki or 'about us page' but lately its been with shopping brands. When i say everything, i mean everything!

The concern for me is when after i get the item, there is a sense of euphoria and awe as the quality of item is really nice and i get weirdly proud of myself for finding it. Then off it goes to the closet or cupboard and I go back to hunting for the next thing in my free time. I have yet to spend a lubricous amount in the 1000s, as i purely connot afford that, but something in the 0-200 GBP in one sitting is something that is becoming a bit too frequent. Usually that is half to most of all my spending allowance that i give myself including for food. I have been constantly reminding myself to stay aware of what i am doing and to stay rational, but also not sure maybe i am just copism?

For context, in the last year i have been trying to curate my wardrobe and find a cohesive style rather than randomly buying everything i like. I did a colour analysis, found out my body measurements, figured out what silhouettes and cuts look flattering, and sold or donated half of my wardrobe that had been the same since i was a child cuz i haven't grown since and i do not have the same fashion sense as my mum. I also got rid of a lot of clothes that i had just got as a result of buying for the sake of buying which made me even more aware of my actions.

So the question is, is this a hobby or a shopping addiction?

I’ve had various items sold to me on these apps that were a huge discount deal that the seller cancels and the frustration that I get, then I start searching for similar items and buy 2 or 3 chasing that specific item that was “snatched from my hands.” I may get used items that don’t fulfill what I missed out. At times even paying full expensive price for getting it new and feeling that void fulfilled. It’s this urge of “making it right” and showing I guess the universe that I’m in charge. Then I feel regret of paying full msrp for something I don’t care as much for, it was more about getting the item at the specific price, more about getting the deal than getting the item.

Even stuff that I hadn’t purchased yet, yesterday saw a brand new briefcase that retails for $400 listed at $50. Since I’m head under water offered $40. It was late night wake up early morning and sold at $50. Now I’m incredibly frustrated looking for the item and finding used junk of it for $150-$300 and new it’s not even available anymore but comparables at $339. I’m restraining myself big time from buying something in the chase of getting what I missed out on.

Anybody experience this?

For the first time in months. I didn't buy a SINGLE thing today. No lattes, no Amazon, no snacks at the convenience store down the street.

It's a small win. For many it would be a pathetic win. But for me, this is huge.

I used to buy things because they felt cheap in the moment. 30 here, 40 there. It never felt like much.

A few months ago I started doing something simple. For everything I bought, I divided the price by the number of times I had actually used it. The results were uncomfortable. The "cheap" things I bought on impulse were the most expensive things I owned, because I had used them once or twice. The things I had agonised over, like a good coat, were costing me almost nothing per wear.

Two habits came out of it:

1. Before I buy, I ask how many times I will realistically use it, and divide the price by that.

2. Then I put it on a list and wait a few days. Most things don't survive the wait.

It hasn't fixed everything, but it changed what "a bargain" means to me.

Has anyone else tried something like this? What helped you pause before buying?

My mother figure, my grandma, passed away in 2023, I stopped talking to my bio mom shortly after, as we never got along and without my grandma, there was no glue left to hold us together. I recently had a baby, he’s turning one this month, I love him so much, but my love for him has brought up some hard emotions.

My bio mom is a narcissist, my dad left when I was young, though we’ve reconnected since then, I just don’t understand why I didn’t deserve that love from them, the love I feel so deeply for my son. My grandma was my real mom, she gave me that love, she was the only family I had really, and she’s gone, and I haven’t dealt with that pain cause it’s too hard.
I have a great support system, a loving husband, caring friends and in-laws, but still I’m so lonely. I look at other people and their relationships with their mothers, and I’m so jealous. I just miss my grandmother so much, so what do I do instead of dealing with my pain, I seek dopamine hits from thrifting or buying things I pretend will take the pain away, but it doesn’t, obviously.

Anyways, I just wanted to vent. This month’s goal is to deal with my emotions in a healthy way, manage my bipolar and adhd, and stick to a budget. Wish me luck.

Context: my shopping problem can be attributed to my bio mom and her irresponsible way of dealing with her emotions. I don’t know how to break something so deeply ingrained in me. I’ve gotten better about it (not perfect but better), but then I fall back in every few years. It’s sucks.

I would use the ai apps to search for recommended products. It would give me recommendations a lot of times overselling the item, or completely wrong specs and or reasoning, it sounds so convincing, I get the item and doesn’t really live up to AI’s hype so ask it another recommendation until I bought like 3-4 and I’m semi satisfied with one.

Worse thing is when I go back to AI to enter why the item didn’t work, it comes back “knowing” like all those are “known” issues and experiences from previous buyers, yet didn’t mention when first asked. And ends up with something like “ahh for your case this and that would be better fitted” again with language like it’s an expert and has the universal truth, so buy again and pattern repeats.

Example - I need formal shoe, recommends, I get it. Turns out to look very casual, enter this in AI and it’s like yes it’s better suited for casual, yet you asked for formal in first place then goes back to “for formal, this is the best…. “ “Buy it now! It’s a good deal.”