r/shoppingaddiction

My bank account hit zero. Mind you I have back up accounts but I’m just not happy with pissing away money. Im addicted to finding deals. I love going to places like Ross, Marshals and TJ Maxx and digging around. On January 20th of 2025 I said I was going to stop shopping and I went pretty strong for awhile. I can’t even remember why I fell off the wagon. Today I went through deleting shopping apps. I need to have five figures in my bank account to feel comfortable in case of an emergency. I’m going to be unsubscribing from texts and emails tomorrow and I’m going to commit. I’m just embarrassed. 😞

I never had a shopping addiction before. I always wore clothes that was old and the same. I decided to purchase more clothes that would make me feel pretty this summer since I couldn’t wear shorts to work and was tired of my cycling 3 pairs of pants that lost their button over the past year. First it was a shitty online retailer, but then none of it looked good and it was all a failure. Because of my depression I didn’t return anything because that was too much work so I just wasted $100. Then I googled where to get good quality clothes and found a website. Honestly it looked so good on me when it arrived but I didn’t have anything I could wear with the skirts. So I went onto a rack when had dresses. Okay, I have never worn a dress. I’ve been seeing so many people (I work in Fidi) wear dresses and thinking “I wish I looked like them. They look confident and happy.” So I ended up buying dresses. Then it didn’t arrive and I kept feeling more and more desperate so I ordered more and more. Now some of the packages arrived and I have more to come and I feel guilty and shitty. I guess I could pack up and return some of it. But I don’t want to be in the same loop where I wear the same clothes and cycle between 5 outfits for the entire summer. I feel like such a failure spending so much money though. I spent 200-350 4 times. I also bought myself a cute purse and a cute backpack and a cute bracelet and then 3 new pairs of sneakers since the sneakers I’ve been wearing for the past 3 years have holes in them.

I blocked it off my computer even though I was really just enjoying scrolling it’s too hard to say no and not buy a new dress when I do. What else can I do to make sure I don’t purchase anything for the rest of the year?

I was doing really well with my budget and shopping way more mindfully and intentionally, but since i have been wedding planning more earnestly (and not just the wedding planning, but also I come from a big wedding culture where the bride needs to have specific outfits and things that she needs to take with her to her new house etc) and while I was better at being more organized, making lists, and having done my peace about the fact that I do need to get these things because of the wedding and moving to a new city, and I can afford them.

However the past two weeks, I have felt myself relapsing in the way I approach the shopping experience. Instead of it being more intentional and reasoned, I have felt myself justifying spending money because of course I need this, instead of waiting a few days before buying something, and going after work to window shop Just To See, knowing full well that I have a hard time not buying anything (even though I have been better at saying no to certain things)

I will do my best to get back on track, but it's still disheartening to go back to those old habits

every fortnight, i was having to pay off $1,100 from my paycheck towards my debt. well in the last month i have cut my spending so much, i only bought a few small things for my desk, no big lavish purchases.

yesterday i found that i only had to pay off $600 this fortnight. that’s basically half of what i usually had to pay because i was spending so much. i now only have a couple hundred dollars left of debt and i am so stoked to see the number going down and down every time i pay off my debt each fortnight. i have to say, it’s kind of a better feeling than the feeling i got from anything i purchased. i can look at the fact that i now have $1,100 to spend on my afterpay account, and months ago that would have been so exciting to me, but now? i can look at it and say i might buy one thing with it once my debt is fully paid off, but other than that i don’t really care. the funny thing is that all the things i wanted a few months ago, id forgotten about as life got busier, work got busier, i met someone, and just realised that i actually didn’t care about those things as much as i thought i did.

i’m not perfect, i still have things i want in the back of my head, but the difference is i’m putting saving first over the shoes i want. the bag i want. but i’m prioritising myself now. i’m prioritising my future now. it feels really wonderful to be putting myself first. that seems to be my focus for this year.

it’s interesting because a couple of months ago i couldn’t stop buying stuff and one time spent a third of my paycheck in just two days. if you feel alone with this problem, you never are. we are all the same in a way with this, just variations. best of luck to you all on this journey 🩶

Hi I’m new to this page but my shopping addiction is way too old and I also have depression, anxiety and binge eating disorder and in the past I had eating disorders (anorexia) now I figured out I have bulimic shopping which is I buy a lot of stuff then I return it, I been doing this for so long I had no idea it’s actually a compulsive disorder, and yesterday I was returning one item on one of my fave stores and I saw EVERYTHING in discount so I got a freaking panic attack and my anxiety reached the sky I almost ended up buying the whole store then I called my mom to ask her what color of bag she wanted for a 2x1 bags for her and me and she actually persuaded me and told me she didn’t need it neither I need it and helped me get out of the store and just walk away…when I tell u I feel the worst headache of my life while being on that store and I felt like I was choking omg then I went and ate 2 ice creams and a MACDONALDS happy meal but at least I didn’t buy anything cause that store is freaking expensive lol I feel like I had an advance… just venting thanks for reading if u got until here . Stay strong and do not buy ! U don’t need it!!!

I have been off resale apps for the past week or so, which has been good for me. I did go back on to sell one thing, which of course opens me up to browsing.

I saw a rather rare item pop up this morning - I’ve kinda pined after for a while. I didn’t think I’d find it so didn’t really consider I’d actually get it.

I was tempted by the fair price, but I didn’t get it. As expected, within the hour it sold. But honestly, I’m a bit relieved. There are of course minor pangs and regret, but I think I can move past it and accept this as part of the process of recovery. A bit uncomfortable and not fun, but worth it.

I’ve been trying to take my shopping problem more seriously lately because it’s honestly been an issue for years, but I tend to overlook it because of how good the whole process makes me feel. The hunt, the anticipation, waiting for the package or finding the item, and then the emotional crash afterward when it’s over. Someone posted earlier about that cycle and it was so relatable that I saved the thread immediately.

This isn’t a new struggle for me either. Looking back, it probably started when I got my first credit card at 18 and treated it like free money without fully understanding interest or how quickly debt can spiral. But for me, the bigger issue has always been the shopping behavior itself and the emotional attachment to it.

At one point I convinced myself I could “fix” the problem by only thrifting instead of shopping traditionally, but honestly that made things worse. Thrifting turned shopping into a game. I started feeling intense FOMO wondering what deals I might miss, what items could be waiting for me, or what sales were happening that day. The unpredictability of it made the dopamine hit so much stronger.

And if I wasn’t physically going to stores, I was obsessively checking online listings hoping to find some amazing deal or rare item like I’d seen other people score. Once I finally found the thing I wanted, the obsession would disappear almost immediately, and then I’d realize how much time, energy, and money I had wasted chasing it.

I also noticed I shop for this “fantasy version” of myself, you know the person I think I’ll become if I own the right clothes, hobbies, or aesthetic. My therapist has helped me recognize that, along with the fact that I develop really intense tunnel vision around certain items. I’ll see something and suddenly it becomes all I can think about until I get it.

So lately I’ve been trying to approach this differently. I already know that going cold turkey doesn’t work for me because I end up rebounding harder and going on massive shopping binges afterward. Instead, I’m trying to create an actual budget and learn how to shop intentionally instead of impulsively.

I’ve also deleted a lot of the apps and social media accounts that trigger these urges. Some of them are basically designed to keep people constantly buying things, and I know I could easily reinstall them at any time, but I’m hoping removing that constant temptation gives me enough space to think more clearly and take back some of my time and energy.

I know I’m nowhere near “fixed,” but I’m trying. And honestly, I think part of why I’m finally taking this seriously is because I’m just exhausted. I’m tired of feeling controlled by it.

The other night I had a dream I had a credit card again. That was a fucking high

I think one thing I have noticed in subs and videos that focus on stuff and consuming — and sometimes have to catch myself doing! — is the phenomenon of calling products “she/her.” Handbags, watches, rare vintage items, etc.

“She was the last one, so of course I had to take her home!”

“Isn’t she beautiful?”

“She’s PERFECT with my outfit, she gets along so well with those pants!”

It’s a cute affect. But I think it is the minds way of justifying the acquisition of something under the cover of forming a relationship (which is usually wha we crave underneath addiction to objects)

The psychological effects of anthropomorphizing are bad especially if one has trouble resisting shopping. You end up developing an emotional attachment to this object and start treating it like a sentient being. It gives you more permission to yearn and lust and love and obsess etc. it creates a sense of power in you more than if you referred to it as, well, an “it.”

I know in other languages there is the genderization of objects, like la piscine (teh swimming pool is “feminine” in French) vs. le poisson (a fish is masculine). In Chinese there are female/male “it” words, but are reserved for living organisms that have male/female assignations. Maybe in English we just feel left out… but I would argue this etymological trend is actually a neurotic tic caused by capitalism and consumer culture that has over time trained us to value objects just as strongly as relationships.

The solution here is to not do it, to go back to referring to objects as “it”, and to resist the urge to anthropomorhize before you purchase. Once it’s a part of your home and has become domesticated as part of your other stuff, sure, go ahead, but resist the urge to animate it to life by giving it a pronoun it hasn’t “earned” so to speak.

In other words, let “it” be!

(Funnily enough I have never heard of computers or electronic equipment ever called “she/her.”)

The Browse: endless scrolling, looking at clothes, building the cart, imagining how you will look wearing them.

The Purchase: hitting “Order Now.” A sudden, massive spike of control and excitement.

The Wait: Tracking the shipment status. The thrilling anticipation of the package arriving.

The Arrival and Unboxing: The package hits the doorstep. You tear it open. The high lasts for about ten minutes.

The Post-Purchase Crash: the item sits on the bed. The excitement evaporates. The reality doesn’t match the fantasy. You might feel anxious about the lost money.

The Reset: Logging back online to add new items to the cart to chase the feeling again.

This is the online shopping cycle I couldn’t break free from. Even knowing how much I’d rather see my bank account rise, I’d still feel like filling my cart or finding some cool new thing to buy was the only control I had over my life and only source of dopamine.

I still fill the cart. But I am working on not checking out. I’m working on overriding the first couple of steps in this cycle and living in the end. The part where I realised I didn’t really want this, I wanted the anticipation of having it. I wanted the “I’m looking forward to this package” feeling.

I think it’s also ok to not demonise shopping entirely in my mind as well as recognising i have a problem,because when I buy from
need or practicality and genuinely being able to afford it easily and the item adds to my life in that way (ie the perfect winter jacket I can wear for 5+ years) those purchases are always a success. Every other reason (boredom, quick dopamine hit, buying for a fantasy version of myself who will never wear it, control) I end up sad and anxious.

I also think we can be good at telling oh selves something is a need or a project that will
Benefit us, for example I can decide over and over I want a new colour scheme in my living room and go crazy online trying to find all the desired items only
To discard the colour scheme a few months later and do it all again. I stopped myself this weekend by saying “you do need a new picture for the wall and that’s it.” And I felt good about that purchase.

I imagine a lot of us can relate to this.

Addiction in any form really sucks because you feel like it’s under control, until it isn’t. But because addiction is impulsive, it does help fight it when you choose to think it through first before finalising that order or swiping your card, etc.

Online shopping stopped this but I remember my mother picking up on my impulsive shopping habit when we would go shopping in stores and she would also say to me if I found something “if you’re still thinking of it at the end of the day go back and get it.”
I never went back and got it. So I feel like the hack for this addiction is to force myself to think. Talk sense to the fantasy version of me or the one who is trading hard earned money at a job she hates for dopamine that will wear off in 10 minutes and increase my anxiety about my over stuffed unworn closet.

Just wanted to share this. :-)

I am a 40 year old professional with some financial success. I have a family that I feel am letting down immensely by my inability to stop spending money and shopping for useless things. I recently paid $80K in credit card bills....and already have racked about $4K in new charges....this is insane!!! I need help and do not know where to get it.

Edit: read the rules and removed any brand names.

I’ve recently come to terms with the fact I have a shopping addiction. I’m pretty sure mine comes from growing up really poor and never being able to afford anything. When I got my first job as a college student I was really good with my money and habitually saved it. But then “wait I have enough to get X” / “my account won’t have any damage by buying Y” / “i deserve this” sentiments started seeping in and I’m now just incredibly irresponsible.

From November to now I’ve blown through my entire savings and have spent probably around $6,000 just on materialistic bullshit. I can’t stop. Whenever I’m sad I want to buy something. When I see something limited or new, I want it. And then I won’t even do anything with it. A recent example is a collab a brand did with another company I follow. I thought about the limited edition tote they were selling for over a month, every day. I bought it the day it released and haven’t used it once; it’s still in the fucking box.

About two weeks ago I got absorbed into a beauty brand’s TikTok live. I guess FOMO or validation hit me and I started buying like crazy. It didn’t help that I got cheers from the live host & and a little bell ringing after every purchase. That was…. a low. The only light here is I genuinely use the products I bought at least.

Last week I got braces and it’s going to cost A LOT. My dentist is in a city (I’m from a rural town) and so there’s a lot to see and do. I made it a goal to only buy 1 thing when I visit every 8 weeks. No shopping in-between anywhere, irl or online, no matter what. Not a single thing! 6 days in and today I blew $300 in a boutique.

I feel so defeated. I don’t have any coping mechanisms aside from buying “sweet treats”.

Nobody is immune to dopamine hit but I don't think a lot of people realize how much it effects their decision making. I've realized if I just wait it out the dopamine wears off and I realize I don't need or want the item anymore.

I think people often misunderstand shopping addiction because they assume it’s just materialism or lack of self-control.

But from what I’ve seen, a lot of the behavior seems tied to emotion — stress, boredom, loneliness, anxiety, wanting comfort, wanting novelty, or just needing a quick dopamine hit after a hard day.

Hey everyone, I have a shopping addiction. I've had it for a long time. It's always toeing the line right up to DANGER ZONE...Can anyone recommend a specific therapist/organisation/approach to help me??

Last year I spent 44k on clothes!! So I spent 44k on clothes, BUT then I sold $42k on clothes. That's not a bad number overall but buying clothes really does consume me!!

Most of those clothes were second-hand (I love thrifting). Regardless, I felt so guilty everytime I purchased something I immediately sold a piece of clothing I already owned or at least put it up for sale online...as a result I sold many things I still really liked but I sold them out of guilt.

About 1/3 of what I sold I made a profit on, as I has specifially purchased it for re-sale, flip purchases. When shopping I use the excuse that I'm shopping to re-sell at a higher price, as I really do have a good knack for that stuff. But honestly I'm usually looking for myself.

I really need help as this has been going on my whole life!

Thank you.

There’s something seriously so wrong with me. I was going through my email and saw that I got an email from [app] that [music artist] has a “limited edition vinyl” and went to the website feeling that same familiar urge of “I have to have it” until I snapped myself out of it. I don’t buy vinyls and I don’t have any interest in buying them. I’m not even a big fan of [artist]. I would have ordered this fucking thing and just got it and been like well…. alrighty. I can’t play this and I don’t care about it and the artist is fine I guess. I want to laugh and cry at the same time at the absurdity of how my brain works. The only silver lining is that I feel like this incident just gave me clarity about how my mind works in regards to shopping, and I’m hoping I can use it going forward to keep myself in check. Because if I’m THAT influenced by “limited time only” and “limited edition” branding and I KNOW that, maybe I can use that knowledge to get better.

I often think how spoiled I am compared to my parents or grandmas. I buy whenever I get the slightest desire for something. I often think about taking all my payment info out and having my sister take my cards so I can't buy anything. I don't know how I would survive though. Am I spoiled beyond redemption? I've gotten out of the habit of writing in my notebook before and after buying. I don't know why since it was working. I guess I just didn't want to soul search before buying because I knew when I did, I wouldn't be able to buy usually.

My online shopping got out of hand last fall due to physical health issues, and I started shopping a lot during my recovery. Lately the shopping has really increased as my anxiety has ramped up as a result of chronic pain.

In the past week I ordered five small items that, individually, don't cost much, but it adds up. I need to focus on medical bills, yet here I am shopping... and I don't need these things. But I keep thinking about how much happier I'll be when they arrive.

I memorized my credit card number, so removing the info from sites doesn't help. I also made some orders from websites I never shopped at before, where returns are not allowed or would be a major hassle. Typically I avoid that, but this time I didn't even care. Just in a bad place right now. I don't even know when I'll feel well enough to go out and use these things that I bought. So it ends up making me feel even more depressed.

I am four days out from not shopping impulsively for a month, but the urge to shop is strong today. My problem area is beauty products and especially lip products. I have pretty much cut myself off from all ads and sites to buy these products but I saw an ad for a new product in a line I really like.

I feel like my brain is trying to self sabotage as I am coming up on a milestone I have never hit before and I am fighting everything to stick to the promises I made to myself around buying things.

I am going to go to the gym for a hard workout to get out some of the uncomfortableness I am feeling, and hoping I will feel better after that. I also have a dopamine menu that I created a few months back and will be taking some ideas off that for tonight and tomorrow to ease the tension I am feeling by not getting the high of buying something new.

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Hi all I need to vent but any help I would be grateful for;

I (26F) have actively searched for a subreddit like this to help my mom (60sF).

For as long as I can remember my mom was financially frugal, and openly spoke about the needs in the family, whether they came a few months later, things got sorted out. My mom has always loved shopping and clothes, so much so numerous members of her extended family would "put up" with shopping with her, because that is what she would choose to do when we visited them in the bigger cities (usually).

Growning up there were about 3-4 rooms of the house that were incrediblly cluttered. Whenever we had company, it was always "take your things and put them away." I had noticed around elementary school, most of my things were already in my room or playroom and I hadn't had much out in the "hosting" spaces. Of course I would help in cleaning up, but it would bug me that i would end up cleaning up my parents mess.

As I got older the rooms which held the most clutter got progressively worse, especially since i moved for college and then again for my first job.

As I spent more time out of my childhood home I realized how I grew up surrounded by clutter really wasnt that normal & how her claim of "this house doesnt have enough space or storage like i wanted." Was ultimately; "i will fill every corner of this house if you give me long enough."

At this moment my mom has taken over the guest room, my bathroom, the office, and the entire dining room & kitchen island. As soon as I remove my remaining items from my childhood bedroom, I know she will be placing even more junk in my closet and bedroom next.

I recognize this is part of a of midlife crisis; as she is purchasing clothes people my age and younger wear. She continually is making comments on "getting" her body back when she sees mine.

More conserningly she has fallen into a horrible habit of collecting skincare for every marketed ad she comes across. Resulting in counters FULL of junk she doesnt use very day or repeate products. Her unmedicated ADHD, and recent phone addiction doesnt help this either.

I know her being surrounded by these piles of old mail, supplements and excessive stuff is paralyzing for her, but I dont even know where to start going through piles.

I hate coming home and seeing her exhausted or overwhelmed so i cant even bring up the topic, but I also hate coming to my childhood home and seeing it such a depressing state.

How can I get through to helping her?

TLTR: my mom has a shopping addiction, and unmedicated ADHD along with an addiction to her phone. The increase in piles junk is effecting her mental health. How can I help her?