r/shoppingaddiction

I am in final year of college, and am earning 35k from two internships.

I save most of it because I've seen my parents experience tough rainy days and it is a constant household fight matter.

That is why I started earning+ saving early.

Now since I am in college, I am very aware of lifestyle inflation due to peers and getting influenced.

I don't smoke or drink. Our hangouts mostly revolve around going to some cafe due to lack of other places and malls.

I try to only spend 5k each month on all this and save 30k, since ofc I live with my parents.

But this expense almost always creeps up to 7k 8k due to having to socialize.

Last week we went to a sushi spot and my share was 600, 100 for travel. The next thing my friends decided to go was go checkout some sale at this famous cheaper retail store, similar to Zudio.

I got influenced too because I hate feeling left out and the only one not getting anything.

I picked 5 things, which I probably don't think I needed and ended up spending 1400. This made me extremely agitated and sad otw back home, it's non returnable by the way.

I love shopping too, just like any other 21 yo girl, but most of rhe stuff I got was "cute" and "needed" and "has to be bought" according to my friends. I loved the things too and in the moment got excited, but afterwards when the cashier announced the bill, my heart sank. Not because I can't afford it, but I didn't want to spend so much considering half the month was still left. Still I couldn't keep it back.

I know it's my fault but I wanted to get some insight on how to deal with this and navigating similar feelings next time on. Please help me out so I'm more mindful next time.

Hey everyone. I have a pair of flipflops from my favorite brand. They’re so comfy but they are two years old and they’re starting to look a little rough. Suddenly I’ve been seeing other colors of them and I’m craving new ones. Especially this specific blue pair. And I’d also want a pair of more neutral, beige ones. But the thing is, this is completely unnecessary. Summer’s almost over where I live. I’m trying to tell myself I could get them next season instead but what if the blue ones won’t be there? This sucks.

Can someone please help me realize I don’t need new flipflops when the summer season’s almost over.

Lately, I had the realization that my SIL probably has an extreme shopping addiction or spending addiction. I am pretty close with my in-laws and my husband is pretty close with his sister (my SIL) - we know from them roughly what they make. SIL is on maternal leave right now, but gets money from the government & her husband has a pretty okay job. They definitely earn average for that area and should be able to save 20-30% of their income even with two little children.

A few weeks ago, SIL logged into her email account on my husband’s iPad, forgot to log out and since then, messages from her account keep popping up. We counted like 5-6 package-related (package arrived, package to be picked up) notifications a week and saw some Klarna bills. We felt quite bad after seeing that since it felt like sneaking and logged out of the account.
But this made us worried. SIL and BIL constantly tell us how tight it is with money, but whenever we are visiting, some SHEIN or temu package arrives. Nearly every weekend they go shopping clothes - cheap clothes & bargains - but it’s still lost money. They also go on vacation and order take-away food every second day.

When I was searching for a sofa, I looked for second hand furniture & my SIL asked me why I just don’t buy it new from a shop with Klarna. I explained to her I have the rule to not spend money I currently don’t have on these kind of things. She didn’t seem to understand my reasoning.

SIL and BIL have been living with SIL’s parents for over 8 weeks - since the second baby arrived - because they don’t have air condition in their own home. The country is known for long, warm summers. MIL and FIL are exhausted and don’t want to have them stay at their house anymore. SIL said she can’t deal alone with 2 children & without air condition at home. We recently bought an air condition ourselves for a bargain - like 250€ - and told SIL about the offer but she said she won’t buy it because she can’t buy there with Klarna. Instead, she will know buy a 400€ air condition somewhere else with Klarna… her parents are enabling her - by living at their house, SIL and BIL don’t pay bills and they also don’t clean. They act like they are in a hotel.

In the past, I have always wanted to help her, but now looking back, SIL was always bad with money (BIL probably too). She bought me a gift (dresses, bags etc) everytime we saw her and I thought it was really sweet but also kind of over the top, but I now think this was part of the problem all along.

It’s very difficult for my husband and me to understand or help since we are quite the opposite: saving money is our “normal” and we try to buy most stuff second hand. I do love to shop as well but I shop mostly on Vinted on a set budget, so I can understand the dopamine rush to some extent, but not to the point where it’s ruining your whole finances. Is there any way I can help her or is it none of my business?

TLdR: SIL has a shopping addiction to the point of barely any savings & debt- how can I help her?

I’ve been thinking about my shopping habits lately and I’m curious how other people would interpret this.

I don’t have debt or serious financial problems from shopping. But I do spend more than I intend to, especially on clothes, makeup, Vinted, etc. I often browse when I’m bored, stressed, or just want some stimulation. Sometimes I even think “ugh, I won’t have much time to check what’s new in online stores today.”

The bigger thing I’ve noticed is that shopping seems tied to my relationship with my appearance. I often have this feeling that this lip gloss, these eyeshadows, this skirt, etc. will finally make me look the way I want to look: more attractive, more like my “ideal version” of myself. I genuinely enjoy playing with my appearance, though, so I don’t want to simply stop caring about it.

I also realized that my appearance/body is one of the few things where I feel I have complete control and can create and express myself. And there’s a social aspect too: when I change my appearance, other people can see it and I get some kind of reaction / attention. When I create something else in private, like journal, it often feels invisible because hardly anyone sees it.

At the same time, I struggle to get genuinely interested in other leisure activities. Reading, walking, cooking, etc. often feel like effort compared to scrolling. I’m studying and working, so I also don’t have endless free time, and I don’t want my entire life outside work to become “productive hobbies.”

I’m wondering if shopping is actually the main problem here, or if it’s filling several needs at once: stimulation, creativity, identity, appearance, attention/validation, and escaping boredom/stress.

Has anyone experienced something similar? What helped you figure out what was actually underneath the shopping?

Do you have any advice for me?

Thank you

Hello everyone, I have struggled with spending issues in recent years and the #1 advice I hear is to declutter your space and get rid of everything. But the issue of consumerism isn’t going to be fixed simply by getting rid of everything you own.

I love makeup and I would find myself getting rid of it and moving it to a different drawer and forgetting about it. That just inclined me to fill the space back up and buy more stuff. Same thing with your closet or whatever else your vice is.

Force yourself to sit with the discomfort of the things surrounding you. Eventually you will stop overbuying, because you can visually see all of the stuff you have. Decluttering comes when you decenter consuming, but before that issue is fixed decluttering just makes you want to buy more.

Recently had a shopping binge. I was supposed to be on a no buy this year but have had such a terrible year I decided to throw in the towel and try again next year.

Two of my orders required refunds requests (one for a missing item, one for a faulty item). Fighting with these companies to get my money back has been such a pain! Having to follow up multiple times, threatening charge backs. It really makes me reconsider if online shopping is worth it if I risk dealing with this again.

My Steam library is, presently, at 708 titles. Heroic Launcher, which aggregates games between GOG, Epic, and Amazon, tells me I'm at 558 titles. In total, we're talking about more than 1250 titles to pick from. Sure, some of these aren't great titles, but I would say at least one out of two games is something I'm interested/curious about.

And these bundles don't seem like much, don't they? A dozen bucks here, twenty euros there. Plus, these are all digital goods - there is no physicality to it, so it is easier to forget about their impact on our finances. In reality, we know how swiftly hundred of bucks can disappear down the drain, one month after the other.

Let's hold onto what we already own, let's play the many titles sitting in our library! FOMO is one hell of a drug, let's not succumb to it <3

Let me explain. I always go through bouts of overspending but I also go through periods of extreme purging. Like rn now. I’m trying to find any and everything out get rid of……. Like I will get a bunch of crap then the crap makes me overstimulated and they I just wanna throw everything away or sell everything

I've come to the point where I understand its an issue now. I accept the fact I am addicted. I have credit card debts which I can't seem to get out of, I think I'm in a total of roughly £2k debt. I always want stuff. I try to stop myself and tell myself i shouldn't, but there's always the "but I want it." I can't get myself to think about buying unnecessary items logically. My brain just won't let me think "You'll be back at square 1, you'll beat yourself up over it next month, you don't need it." I don't know how to help myself. I fear ill never pay it off. I don't know what to do. How did you guys start your journey? I've tried deleting cards off of payment apps, but i always just add it back. I can't stop. Any advice welcome.

I spent over $1000 at Aritzia this weekend because my excuse was it’s an investment in business clothes (I never had anymore) but now I’m on their website trying not to buy that exact blazer and other options of dress in ever colour imaginable.

I just can’t stop. Like I either Uber Eats something to feel better, or buy a cookie on my lunch break every single day ($5 per cookie starts to add up after a while☹️)

I want the blazer, I want the dress. Together they’re about $350. But also want other dresses in white to give my white blazer options. But I need to pay off my credit card and other debts first. But if I do that, then I can’t buy the dress and blazer until next month when I get paid for this month’s work. But thy then they might not have it in my colour anymore. Literally what can I do. I do this every time I get paid, and I already don’t make that much money. I feel like I’m out of control.

I’m convinced fashion influencers are all actually hoarders. There’s no other explanation for this level of compulsive shopping. This behavior is actually a major sign of impulse control disorders, mood disorders, ADHD, and addiction.

I get it. Remove the apps, remove the credit cards from phone etc etc. but that’s like telling a smoker to hide the smokes. Like really? For some it might work for me, it doesn’t. I need advice on how people have dealt with their compulsive shopping mentality. Rather than just blocking things because it doesn’t solve the root cause of the issue.

I am currently on day 47 of my 90 day no buy. I was doing really well until the past few days. At the end of 90 days I am treating myself to new jeans and right now Banana Republic factory has a really good deal on them and I’m so tempted to get three pairs. I don’t know what to do. Would love advice or support. Thank you!

Edit: just to clarify the current jeans I own are outdated styles and no longer fit due to weight changes which is why I’m allowing myself to buy new ones at the end of the 90 days. I know it sounds counterproductive to reward myself with clothes after doing a no buy, so I wanted to clarify.

Hello r/shoppingaddiction, what a year it has been!

This group has been so instrumental in my growth, even if it was just quietly lurking and not feeling so alone with this addiction. I’ve been reflecting a lot on my year so far and wanted to encourage you all to keep going, wherever you are at!

I’m proud to say that after going over my budget and finances, I will have a positive net worth for the first time in my adult life by the end of September if I stick to my budget. I’ve been feeling really spendy again lately, and over the last few weeks I’ve felt close to pulling the trigger on some online hauls. But realizing how close I am to this big goal has helped immensely.

I had a really big relapse in May that set me back quite a bit, and it made me realize that this really is an addiction that doesn’t exactly go away. The impulses definitely lessen, but they are still there. I’ve had to put really strong limits on myself and not allow myself to online shop, because that is by far my biggest trigger.

I’m proud of myself, though, because I recently had to shop for a few pieces of formalwear for a wedding I’m going to in October, and it felt really good to pay in cash and stick to my budget. I had a dress I really wanted to buy, but I chose to borrow one that fits me beautifully and just get a cheap pair of shoes with it. Honestly, that kind of shopping didn’t even feel that great at all. It’s funny to realize what actually scratches that addictive, dopamine-seeking itch and what doesn’t.

It is so incredibly hard some days, and honestly I’m checking in partly because I’ve felt that big impulse come up again. But realizing how close I am to my goal is really helping - although the wait feels painfully long when you’re right at the end zone. 😅

I just wanted to show my appreciation for this group and remind myself, and all of you, to keep going, no matter where you are in the process. Sometimes it’s one day, or even one hour, at a time.

Honestly, me from even a year ago would not believe that this is where I am now. It is slow, but it has been so, so worth it.

Today, instead of giving in and going to the store, I’m working on the tedious task of documenting everything I own in case I ever need to file a renter’s insurance claim (I sincerely hope not).

This is making me never want to shop again. How can I possibly have all this STUFF?

Eu estava feliz pois eu achei que tinha consegui superar, eu sentia que estava indo bem com tudo isso esses últimos três meses eu havia conseguido guardar o máximo de dinheiro possível e agora esse mês tudo que construí acabou desmoronando.... Não sei bem como me sentir além de uma decepção

Currently a college student, I buy things with credit and it's becoming a problem. I keep telling myself "one more thing can't hurt, and it's just a drop in the bucket because I owe a lot in student loans anyway."

I recently found out I had OCD; was diagnosed. One thing I do is buy duplicates of things I am fixated on. The things I usually buy are stuff I expect to turn into "valuable assets." This is one reason why I buy duplicates of the same thing. One so I can keep for myself, and another so I can "eventually resell" once the value increases.

It's mostly collectible memorabilia, or other random sought after items.

Hello everyone, I’m new here (24F). I would call myself a recovering shopaholic since I’m about to celebrate 2 years debt free (I racked up $30,000 of credit card debt during the worst of my addiction; 2021-2023 debt accumulation, and paid it all off in 2024). October will be 2 years!

I’ve gotten significantly more disciplined with spending. I have a five figure emergency fund, my retirement is sitting at about a third of my annual salary (with the goal of having it match my salary by the time I’m 30), and I have a comfortable income where I don’t worry about bills. Despite all this I still have low points. I have a 9-5, so Monday - Friday is easy to not spend because I’m distracted with work, but weekends are extremely hard. I have hobbies at home to keep me distracted, but the root cause of all of this is how I grew up. I lived in a household where staying home on weekends was viewed as lazy. My mother is a shopping addict and has been all her life. Every single weekend we would leave the house and go shopping for hours (80% of it was stuff we didn’t need). I don’t remember a single weekend aside from the pandemic where we didn’t leave the house.

Because I grew up this way, every weekend I have to fight the urge not to go somewhere, and stay home and enjoy the things I have already. I will say that when I give into this urge I actually don’t spend much because I feel guilty once I get into the store, but I’m trying to stop the loop of going in the first place. Does anyone have advice for how to handle this? I’ve only been living on my own for a year and a half, so unfortunately I have almost 22 years of this weighing on me. It’s hard to break out of!

I’ve struggled with shopping addiction for years, and “save money” or “you already have enough stuff” never really changed my behavior.

What finally started changing my mindset was realizing what that money could do instead.

Animal shelters and rescues are often extremely underfunded and constantly trying to cover food, vet bills, medications, foster supplies, and emergency care. Meanwhile, I could easily spend $50 or $100 on something I didn’t need and barely care about a month later.

Now I’m trying to redirect some of that money toward animals instead. It’s also made me want to embrace minimalism more. I already have enough stuff. I’d rather have more space in my home and know that some of my money actually helped save a life.

When I want to impulse-buy something now, I ask myself: Do I want another thing, or do I want this money to actually matter?

That question has helped me more than guilt ever did. Priorities. Saving lives/alleviating suffering > stuff.

Hey, I wanted to share something with you in case my story helps anyone struggling with their shopping addiction.

I've dealt with overspending in my early 20s, but things improved years later when I met my partner and my life became more stable. I managed to stop ordering online most of the time and often bought only what I really needed in stores.

Fast forward, I joined the Vinted app. I initially wanted to sell a few things and declutter my house. I also wanted to get rid of old clothes that didn't fit me anymore. However, I found myself buying items here and there.

Over time, I bought more and more, and this really added up. My house is cluttered again, and my bank account is drained. I only sold a few outgrown toys from my daughter. Huge bags of old clothes still hang around, and I’ve also hoarded new stuff.

Now, I've decided to put a stop to it. Instead of waiting months for things to sell and getting annoyed with the process and customer service, and continuing to buy and spend more, I’ve put my account on holiday mode. I’ll wait until my last transaction is complete and then delete the app for good.

It's a shame how much money I’ve wasted. I'd rather give my items away for free to charity than stay on Vinted, barely sell anything, stay mentally preoccupied with the never-ending pile of items, and keep spending more.

Can anyone relate?