u/cturtle86

I’ve been trying to take my shopping problem more seriously lately because it’s honestly been an issue for years, but I tend to overlook it because of how good the whole process makes me feel. The hunt, the anticipation, waiting for the package or finding the item, and then the emotional crash afterward when it’s over. Someone posted earlier about that cycle and it was so relatable that I saved the thread immediately.

This isn’t a new struggle for me either. Looking back, it probably started when I got my first credit card at 18 and treated it like free money without fully understanding interest or how quickly debt can spiral. But for me, the bigger issue has always been the shopping behavior itself and the emotional attachment to it.

At one point I convinced myself I could “fix” the problem by only thrifting instead of shopping traditionally, but honestly that made things worse. Thrifting turned shopping into a game. I started feeling intense FOMO wondering what deals I might miss, what items could be waiting for me, or what sales were happening that day. The unpredictability of it made the dopamine hit so much stronger.

And if I wasn’t physically going to stores, I was obsessively checking online listings hoping to find some amazing deal or rare item like I’d seen other people score. Once I finally found the thing I wanted, the obsession would disappear almost immediately, and then I’d realize how much time, energy, and money I had wasted chasing it.

I also noticed I shop for this “fantasy version” of myself, you know the person I think I’ll become if I own the right clothes, hobbies, or aesthetic. My therapist has helped me recognize that, along with the fact that I develop really intense tunnel vision around certain items. I’ll see something and suddenly it becomes all I can think about until I get it.

So lately I’ve been trying to approach this differently. I already know that going cold turkey doesn’t work for me because I end up rebounding harder and going on massive shopping binges afterward. Instead, I’m trying to create an actual budget and learn how to shop intentionally instead of impulsively.

I’ve also deleted a lot of the apps and social media accounts that trigger these urges. Some of them are basically designed to keep people constantly buying things, and I know I could easily reinstall them at any time, but I’m hoping removing that constant temptation gives me enough space to think more clearly and take back some of my time and energy.

I know I’m nowhere near “fixed,” but I’m trying. And honestly, I think part of why I’m finally taking this seriously is because I’m just exhausted. I’m tired of feeling controlled by it.

Long story short is I bought a Large Fuchsia Florentine secondhand and when I received it I realized it lacks the “typical” smell that my other Florentine’s have.

The bag itself looks absolutely stunning and I have no other reason to suspect it’s a fake beyond the fact that it just doesn’t have that luscious leather smell.

Is this something that other people encountered from other bags, possibly because they’re colored leather? Any insight would be appreciated!

I’ve struggled with compulsive shopping for as long as I can remember. About 10 years ago it got bad enough that I had to file for bankruptcy, which is something I never want to go through again. I also have suspected ADHD (working through it with a therapist), and I know that plays a big role in the impulsivity and hyperfixation cycles.

My “categories” tend to rotate between clothes, makeup, shoes, but lately it’s been purses.

At the beginning of this month I told myself: no more bags. I planned a full 6 month no-buy, and if I actually stuck to it, I’d reward myself with my “dream bag” for my birthday.

Then life happened and my child was hospitalized (they’re okay now), and it completely threw me off. I spiraled into stress spending without really noticing it in the moment. Yesterday it finally hit me: I have FIVE purses currently being shipped to me. And because most of them are secondhand, returns aren’t really an option. Thrifting/reselling has also become part of the fixation, which doesn’t help.

That realization felt like a punch to the gut.

Today I started trying to reset. I deleted apps, turned off notifications, and I’m trying to be more intentional about what I do when I feel the urge to scroll or shop. I don’t want my life to revolve around “stuff” or the constant urge to hunt for the next thing. It’s exhausting.

Also, I’m letting go of the “dream bag” reward idea. I already ended up buying two versions of it secondhand anyway, which kind of proves the point. Instead, I want to plan something meaningful for my birthday that I’ll actually remember.

If anyone has advice on how to stick to a no-buy or deal with stress-triggered spending, I’d really appreciate it. This cycle is getting old.