u/slowbuyclub

One thing I have noticed in subs and videos that focus on stuff and consuming — and sometimes have to catch myself doing! — is the phenomenon of calling products “she/her.” Handbags, watches, rare vintage items, etc.

“She was the last one, so of course I had to take her home!”

“Isn’t she beautiful?”

“She’s PERFECT with my outfit, she gets along so well with those pants!”

It’s a cute affect. But I think it is the minds way of justifying the acquisition of something under the cover of forming a relationship (which is usually wha we crave underneath addiction to objects)

The psychological effects of anthropomorphizing are bad especially if one has trouble resisting shopping. You end up developing an emotional attachment to this object and start treating it like a sentient being. It gives you more permission to yearn and lust and love and obsess etc. it creates a sense of power in you more than if you referred to it as, well, an “it.”

I know in other languages there is the genderization of objects, like la piscine (teh swimming pool is “feminine” in French) vs. le poisson (a fish is masculine). In Chinese there are female/male “it” words, but are reserved for living organisms that have male/female assignations. Maybe in English we just feel left out… but I would argue this etymological trend is actually a neurotic tic caused by capitalism and consumer culture that has over time trained us to value objects just as strongly as relationships.

The solution here is to not do it, to go back to referring to objects as “it”, and to resist the urge to anthropomorhize before you purchase. Once it’s a part of your home and has become domesticated as part of your other stuff, sure, go ahead, but resist the urge to animate it to life by giving it a pronoun it hasn’t “earned” so to speak.

In other words, let “it” be!

(Funnily enough I have never heard of computers or electronic equipment ever called “she/her.”)

I think one thing I have noticed in subs and videos that focus on stuff and consuming — and sometimes have to catch myself doing! — is the phenomenon of calling products “she/her.” Handbags, watches, rare vintage items, etc.

“She was the last one, so of course I had to take her home!”

“Isn’t she beautiful?”

“She’s PERFECT with my outfit, she gets along so well with those pants!”

It’s a cute affect. But I think it is the minds way of justifying the acquisition of something under the cover of forming a relationship (which is usually wha we crave underneath addiction to objects)

The psychological effects of anthropomorphizing are bad especially if one has trouble resisting shopping. You end up developing an emotional attachment to this object and start treating it like a sentient being. It gives you more permission to yearn and lust and love and obsess etc. it creates a sense of power in you more than if you referred to it as, well, an “it.”

I know in other languages there is the genderization of objects, like la piscine (teh swimming pool is “feminine” in French) vs. le poisson (a fish is masculine). In Chinese there are female/male “it” words, but are reserved for living organisms that have male/female assignations. Maybe in English we just feel left out… but I would argue this etymological trend is actually a neurotic tic caused by capitalism and consumer culture that has over time trained us to value objects just as strongly as relationships.

The solution here is to not do it, to go back to referring to objects as “it”, and to resist the urge to anthropomorhize before you purchase. Once it’s a part of your home and has become domesticated as part of your other stuff, sure, go ahead, but resist the urge to animate it to life by giving it a pronoun it hasn’t “earned” so to speak.

In other words, let “it” be!

(Funnily enough I have never heard of computers or electronic equipment ever called “she/her.”)

And would this make it the best device or still one of the worst devices for anticonsumption (if not just the world and humanity in general)

I’m imagining a world where you’d end up buying (*cough* paying a monthly subscription fee) for an adblocking app that replaces all billboards, bus stop ads, ads in the waiting rooms of doctor’s offices, ads on TV.

For the record I hate the very idea of these silly glasses and think they are the pits of humanity; as a former marketer I can’t believe here is the one use case the Meta team hasn’t thought of; as someone overwhelmed with the number of ads (and doesn’t want to numb myself to, well, reading and paying attention to my environment) the idea of a universal “off” switch is tempting; I also think it’s just funny if they did this, because then the company pumping out the disease is also prescribing the cure.

… And so you’re not COMPLETELY devastated. Which BAGGU are you SO relieved remains??

(Btw, somehow this 🌪️ has also blown away your credit cards and somehow also all the ecomm sites that stock Baggu, so you can’t repurchase immediately!)

Mine would be my daily driver — my Fig Loaf!

Who are you outside besides a shopaholic is one of the most important questions you can answer that will help defend you against brands.

Let me tell you a little bit about how brands work as a former marketer.

Brands work by targeting personas (that’s you) with value propositions. They make these propositions feel worth paying for by making your problems seem bigger than they are and by chipping away at your sense of self. The products being sold at this point in our supply chain history are merely incidental. They are just souvenirs for the experience of participating in the brand experience.

The value proposition is usually delivered as a story. A story about transformation, from a person who looks and sounds like you, but then through the product, becomes a better version of themselves.

Brands make the story resonate by flattening your individuality, making you feel insecure about stuff you didn’t feel insecure about before they came your way, and through just simply good storytelling techniques (hook, structure, characters). My favorite philosopher calls this “storyselling,” because it’s not REALLY storytelling. How can you tell? Well, human stories end with the main character realizing something about themselves and making a change. Brand stories end with the main character (you) buying something with your spare change.

I would argue you don’t have to spare brands your change. Your ability to change whatever it is - your circumstances, your body, your mindset, all rest entirely within you. And the key to doing it is a tale as old as time:

Telling your own story.

This is why we have the rise of journaling lately: an analog place where you can define yourself, by yourself, without brands trying to interrupt and hijack the conversation you are having with your selves (actual self, fantasy self, in-between self) in their favor.

If you can define your self and tell your own story, you will become 100x more impervious to marketing.

Love this sub - and rooting for everyone on the journey to overcome overbuying in a world where we are ridiculously overmarketed to.