u/Quirky-Kangaroo-5025

Edit: read the rules and removed any brand names.

I’ve recently come to terms with the fact I have a shopping addiction. I’m pretty sure mine comes from growing up really poor and never being able to afford anything. When I got my first job as a college student I was really good with my money and habitually saved it. But then “wait I have enough to get X” / “my account won’t have any damage by buying Y” / “i deserve this” sentiments started seeping in and I’m now just incredibly irresponsible.

From November to now I’ve blown through my entire savings and have spent probably around $6,000 just on materialistic bullshit. I can’t stop. Whenever I’m sad I want to buy something. When I see something limited or new, I want it. And then I won’t even do anything with it. A recent example is a collab a brand did with another company I follow. I thought about the limited edition tote they were selling for over a month, every day. I bought it the day it released and haven’t used it once; it’s still in the fucking box.

About two weeks ago I got absorbed into a beauty brand’s TikTok live. I guess FOMO or validation hit me and I started buying like crazy. It didn’t help that I got cheers from the live host & and a little bell ringing after every purchase. That was…. a low. The only light here is I genuinely use the products I bought at least.

Last week I got braces and it’s going to cost A LOT. My dentist is in a city (I’m from a rural town) and so there’s a lot to see and do. I made it a goal to only buy 1 thing when I visit every 8 weeks. No shopping in-between anywhere, irl or online, no matter what. Not a single thing! 6 days in and today I blew $300 in a boutique.

I feel so defeated. I don’t have any coping mechanisms aside from buying “sweet treats”.

I have been working at a small business for someone in my family for nearly 5 years now. Originally there were 2 employees counting me, but during my third year here the other employee was fired. Since then it’s just been me.

For personal reasons my boss has become a sort of recluse. They don’t leave their home and only text me instructions occasionally, about once every week or so. Aside from ordering merchandise, I literally do everything else by myself including running our online store, carrying packages out for delivery, and all social media.

I wear many hats but I enjoy the job. It’s pretty slow-paced and I’m given a lot of autonomy.

But here is where the issues start:
- I can never take a day off on a business day because then the store is closed the entire day. There is literally no one else and so the store being consistently open is dependent on me.
- My hours were recently slashed from 40 to 24 hours a week. I was already being underpaid but now I’m being severely hit. My boss cannot afford to pay me anymore, essentially is the issue, and so the amount of time I can work has lessened.
- Since February of this year my weekly paycheck has become not so weekly. The longest I’ve gone without being paid is 4 weeks. Currently I’m again at 2 weeks without pay. My boss will text me that they’ll pay in cash or leave a check “today” but then days pass and it hasn’t happened. If I text them asking about my pay I get no response.

I was recently given the opportunity for a job interview that pays double my current salary, and is part of a company so paychecks would be consistent. It’s completely up in the air if I get the job, but if I do I’m not sure what my next step will be.

If I leave, the store essentially shuts down. And I can’t see another person being able to tolerate this, or my boss even being able to hire someone else because that would mean becoming present in the store again. It’s easy with me because they trust me and I’m family.

But if I stay I’m trapped in this cycle and will end up in debt. If I leave, it will create tension between my family and neighborhood because we all live close to one another.

I feel guilty for even thinking of leaving but I need money. I can’t keep working for free.