I don’t know why I’m falling so hard for this girl when everything about this situation is hurting me.
TL;DR : I don’t know why I’m falling so hard for this girl when everything about this situation is hurting me.
We work together. She has a really rough life — family issues, drug use, smoking weed constantly, drinking and driving, getting into trouble with cops, impulsive behavior, and she’s always emotionally struggling.
I was always there for her. She cried on my shoulder multiple times and I tried my best to support her emotionally whenever she was breaking down.
There was even a period where she lost her house, and I let her stay at my place. I gave her my bed while I slept on the floor plenty of times. There were nights where she crashed at my place after overdosing on alcohol or other substances because I didn’t want her alone or unsafe.
She studied theatre and wanted to pursue acting-related opportunities, and even while we were fighting I still tried to support her. I prepared documents for her, helped organize things, and even booked an audition for her because I genuinely wanted her to do well in life.
What hurts is that she didn’t even text me once about it afterward. No appreciation, no update, nothing.
Recently she became rude not only to other people but to me too. Whenever I got hurt by the way she treated me, I would just distance myself quietly instead of fighting. But somehow she would turn it around and say I was the one hurting her.
One thing that completely crushed me was when she told me:
“You never did anything for me. You never stood up for me.”
After everything I did, hearing that honestly broke something in me.
Then one day she made me wait to talk, and when I finally saw her at work she just walked right past me like I didn’t exist. I texted her afterward saying “I got my answer,” and she replied saying she didn’t want to talk “at the moment.”
A few days later she came up to me at work and wanted to talk again. I told her I can’t keep accepting disrespectful behavior, especially when she’s also talking badly about me behind my back.
The weird thing is despite seeing all these red flags clearly, I still care about her deeply. Even after everything.
Last Saturday was the last time we talked properly. Since we were working, we didn’t get enough time to finish the conversation. Before leaving she told me she would call me later.
It’s been 4 days now and she hasn’t called or even sent a text.
I know this relationship/situationship is unhealthy, but I can’t understand why I’m so emotionally attached to someone who keeps hurting and confusing me.